Friday, January 28, 2011

Everything I need to know I forgot after kindergarten.


This is my niece, Greta, at her 3rd birthday party last summer. Greta has been taking swimming lessons since she was 9 or 10 months old and, as you can see, they have paid off. She is totally comfortable in the water and already swims pretty well. Its amazing to watch. Before I saw Greta in a pool, I never really understood the point of baby swim lessons. Now, I get it- babies really can swim! Also, by putting them in the pool early, you take advantage of that fearlessness which most young children seem to have.

Its hard to recapture that fearlessness at 31, as I was reminded this evening during my second attempt at swimming. My parents didn't put me in the pool as an infant, but I took swim lessons every summer from about second grade through middle school. Back then, I was actually pretty good. In fact, swimming was the only childhood athletic activity in which I experienced real success. Given those positive early experiences, I was hoping that returning to the pool would feel natural and fun. Boy, was I wrong!

The good news is that I still enjoy swimming. The bad news is twofold:

First, despite being a relatively fit and strong person, I find swimming really hard. With running and biking, I find that fitness gained in one tends to carry over into the other. So, the longer I can run, the longer I can stay on a bike (and vice versa). Not so with swimming. The pool seems determined to humble me. As I approach, I can almost hear it saying "You think you're hot stuff because you ran 10 miles last week? Well, now you're going to be winded in 25 yards." I see the people gliding effortlessly by in the lanes on either side and I want to shout "Hey- I'm a good runner! I can lift a lot of weight! Really!"

Second, I am still having trouble swimming underwater. As a kid, my biggest challenge in swimming was learning to breathe correctly and efficiently, so I expected to find that challenging again. What I did not expect was that holding my breath underwater would suddenly be both difficult and panic-inducing. Last week, I could not get myself to go more than a stroke or two underwater. This week, I pushed myself and made it to a few strokes, but as soon as I tried to take a breath, I found myself sputtering and flailing around. So, as with last week's pool workout, I did most of my swimming above the water, which is slow and inefficient.

At this point, I think I'm going to have to pony up the money for a few lessons. Ideally, I need to find a swim instructor/therapist who can guide me through some systematic desensitization. We can start by blowing bubbles in the bathtub, then sit in the shallow end, then put our heads under... Or, maybe I can just hit up Greta for tips.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

This is why I go to church.

When I was in high school, I occasionally crossed paths with a guy named Chris. He graduated before my 9th grade year, and I'm not sure we ever spoke to each other, but he was still on my radar screen for a few reasons: I dated two friends of his (at different times), including his brother's best friend. That same brother was in my graduating class. And, perhaps most importantly, Chris played in a band that had real gigs from time to time, which made him a rock star by high school standards.

I always found Chris rather intimidating. In addition to the whole "rock star" thing, he was a big guy with long hair and a beard, making him appear older and cooler than anyone else close to my age. Whenever he was around, I let our mutual friends (aka: the brother and the two boyfriends) do the talking.

After every encounter with Chris, my friends and I would have the same conversation. Someone in the group- in a tone of disbelief- would say "Do you know that guy's a Christian? Like, a serious Christian." With our limited high school worldviews, it was hard to reconcile "long-haired rock band guy" with "goes to church every Sunday." At that time, I was questioning my Christian upbringing, and my friends had flat-out rejected all religion. In fact, most of them had some pretty harsh words for anyone who professed religious beliefs. They made an exception for Chris, though. They talked about his Christianity with some disbelief, but never scorn. Chris had the "older and cooler" factor working for him, and he was always very secure in his beliefs, which made him hard to criticize.

Intimidation aside, none of us could ever resist making the joke that Chris followed Jesus as both savior and fashion icon. He was working the heavy metal prophet look, as seen above.
Fast-forward far too many years to 2009. I looked up the Baltimore-Washington Conference of the United Methodist Church on Facebook and who did I find? Chris. Not surprisingly, the hair and beard are shorter and he's called Pastor Chris now. I sent him a message and let him in on the shocking news that our high school churned out two United Methodist seminary grads in the space of a few years. Ever since, I've been following his ministry on Facebook and his blog.

Last week, I saw this post, in which Chris talks about his recent decision to donate a kidney to a member of his church who needs a transplant. The two of them had their surgeries today and, as far as I know, are doing well. Giving up a vital organ for somone else- particularly someone who is not a spouse or blood relative- is an amazing gift. Chris is risking his own life and health to save another person. He's undergoing surgery, and all the pain and recovery that will follow. He even lost 50 pounds in order to be healthy enough for the procedure!  Its an unbeliveable sacrifice... and yet, no less than I would expect from him. Just like when we were in high school, Chris doesn't make a big fuss about being a Christian. He just goes about his days, pursuing the things he loves, but always, in his humble way, following Jesus.

Reading Chris' story reminds me why I believe that being part of a church or other community is essential to being a Christian. Church is where we learn to live out the radical, life-altering belief that all human beings are part of one family. For Chris, giving up a kidney for a fellow church member is no different than giving it up for a member of his biological family or for a close friend. One could argue that a fellow church member is a close friend, but I don't believe they are the same thing. With my friends, I share a long history of common experiences, shared interests, and shared beliefs. In my church, there are some members with whom I share common beliefs and experiences, but there are many more who I barely know and some with whom I passionately disagree. Yet, our shared faith calls us to be together as one family, working through our differences and sacrificing for one another whenever we have the opportunity. Its easy to be generous and giving to my family and friends. It can be hard work to do the same for my church community, but doing that work is what pushes me to be the person I feel called to be. If I can learn to do it in the church, then I can do it in the rest of the world too.

So, I know you hate to hear it, but thanks for setting an example all these years, Chris. The next time our paths cross, I'll actually speak to you.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Diving In.


How's everyone been? This is the longest I've gone without posting since I started this blog. Its been a crazy couple of weeks. School started up again and work got much busier than usual, (inconveniently) at the same time. Here are some highlights from the past 10 days or so, organized topically and semi-chronologically:

Yoga: As mentioned in my previous post, I finally dragged myself to some full yoga classes. I've been telling myself I should do yoga ever since I joined my gym. I have some muscle pains that happen every time I run over a certain distance, and stretching more might help with that. Some additional/different strength training exercises wouldn't hurt either.  So, yoga makes sense for me, but I have a hard time getting myself there. My lack of flexibility and coordination makes yoga very difficult for me. Also, I've had some bad yoga class experiences in the past, generally involving advanced instructors and classmates who had little patience for my incompetence.

I went to my first real yoga class since 2005 on Friday, Jan. 14th. That class, which was beginner-level, went just fine. I was able to follow along and both the instructor and the other class members were very laid-back. That Sunday, the same instructor held another beginner class, so I went to that too. Then, I went to her classes on Wednesday and this Sunday (I need to make things a habit in order to stick with them). They were all a bit different, and I definitely got lost a few times, but I never felt the combo of intimidation, embarrassment, and panic which I experienced in previous classes. With my yoga anxiety reduced, I signed up for a 6-week "yoga for runners" class at my gym starting in February. Thus far, its shaping up to be pretty small, so I'm looking forward to more specific, individualized instruction. Hopefully, at the end of 6 weeks, I'll feel like I kinda-sorta know what I'm doing. Hopefully.

School: The Spring semester at Loyola started last week. The good news is that this should be my final semester. Over the break, I submitted my registration for my final three classes and my graduation application, and I've been holding my breath ever since. The Loyola Pastoral Counseling department has been experiencing some administrative challenges this year and the way I've moved through my program has been a bit unusual. Thus, I am expecting some complications. So far, though, everything is going smoothly. Fingers crossed!

The bad news is that I have the worst schedule ever. Three classes, which all meet on Thursday: 9:30am-12pm, 4:15pm-6:45pm, and 7pm-9:30pm. For someone with a short attention span who is typically asleep by 9:30pm, this is a nightmare. Also, the three classes I have left are three of the most labor-intensive in the program, and two out of three profs have made everything due super-early in the semester "to make things easier." The week they chose to make everything due? The same week I take my licensure exam! Awesome. So, don't expect to hear much from me in March or April.

Swimming: After a couple of failed attempts coordinating our crazy schedules, my friend Ana and I went to the pool this past Friday for my first attempt at swimming in about 10 years. It was humbling in more ways than one. Friday afternoon, one of my co-workers invited myself and another co-worker out to a happy hour. I thanked her, but said I was meeting someone at the pool. My co-workers (who are about my age) both said "Oh- I've never heard of that? Is that a new bar- Pool?" As I replied "No, I mean the swimming pool," I felt about as old as I did jumping rope a couple weeks ago (see previous post).

Friday night turns out to be a great time to go to the pool, though. There were maybe a dozen people when Ana and I arrived around 7:30, and we were able to get adjacent lanes all to ourselves. This was good, because neither of us could go for more than 1 lap without stopping to rest. Overall, I am in pretty good shape, but this apparently means nothing when it comes to swimming. As I had feared, I have forgotten everything I ever learned about good swim technique. Even worse, I seem to have forgotten how to swim underwater. I felt panicky every time I tried, so I wound up holding my head up the whole time, which definitely made things harder. Overall, my return to the pool was pretty dismal, but two good things did come from it: (1) I am now very afraid of the swim portion of the triathlon, which should get me to the pool on a regular basis, and (2) I had a great time hanging out with Ana.   

Running: As part of Striders' half-marathon training 2011, I was scheduled to run 8 miles this past Saturday. For one of the only times in my history of training with the Striders, I bailed. I had missed a Group Power class earlier in the week and really wanted to make it up on Saturday. Plus, is was bitter cold and I was heading to Ocean City at noon for a youth retreat (see below). I knew I would not get much sleep Saturday night and thought I could use an extra 90 minutes Saturday morning. I felt terribly guilty for most of Saturday, but it turned out to be the right decision.

ROCK Retreat: As part of the United Methodist ordination process, candidates for ministry are assigned a "candidacy mentor," who is a clergy person in their local district but not their pastor. The candidate works through various parts of the ordination process with their mentor and can not proceed without one. To make a very long story very short, my process has been stalled for a long time because my first mentor assignment did not work out and I took forever requesting a new one. I was finally assigned that new mentor around Thanksgiving and I have been waiting eagerly to meet with him.

When I first contacted my new mentor in November, his wife (who handles administrative tasks for him) responded and said he would be in touch after the holidays. I heard from her again early this month, when she called to schedule a meeting at their church. During the call, though, she got very excited and announced that the church had space for one more adult at this year's ROCK, a huge youth retreat held by the UMC in Ocean City every January. I can't say I was thrilled at this suggestion, but I didn't want to make a bad impression by saying no, especially after she agreed to let me come Saturday afternoon so that I wouldn't have to skip my Saturday AM workout.

So, Saturday afternoon, I drove to Ocean City to meet my new mentor and work security at a Christian rock concert for over 6,000 youth. Despite my reservations, it was actually a good experience. I like my new mentor, the youth from his church are terrific, and I came away with a mostly positive view of ROCK itself. (I'll try to write more extensively about that when I have more time.) Best of all, my candidacy process is moving again after being stalled for a long time. This is both exciting and terrifying, but more of the former.

So, there you go. Highlights of a very busy week-and-a-half. I got back from ROCK yesterday around 2:30pm, went to yoga at 4pm, and was in bed by 6:30pm. I don't remember anything after that, but I'm pretty sure I was asleep by 7:30pm. Resting up for another busy week!

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Jump ropes make me feel old.

Of all the jump rope photos available online, this is by far the strangest.
I am not a person who feels old very often. I am solidly in my 30's, but I still can't believe that most days. Probably because I haven't had kids yet, I still have plenty of energy, and good skin, and no gray hairs (yet). Last spring, I went to a party in my actual high school prom dress, which means I'm still close to high school-size. I can only think of two circumstances which make me feel really old:

(1) When I go somewhere full of college students and find myself thinking "they are so loud!"
(2) When I try to jump rope.

When I was a kid, I loved jumping rope. I used to do it all the time in my parents' basement TV room while watching cartoons. I could go forever, and do a couple of tricks. I think I even placed in an elementary school contest. But I've learned recently that jumping rope is not at all like riding a bike. We use jump ropes in my Boot Camp class from time to time (this week, for example) and I just can't hack it anymore. If I skip, I can do okay. If I actually try to jump, I'm slow as molasses and I can't make it more than a handful of jumps without tripping.

Truth be told, the actual jump-roping isn't even the worst part. The worst part is waking up the next day with major muscle aches in both calves, and then having those aches last all day. That's when the "old" feeling really kicks in. When I was a kid, I don't think I ever said "Man, that jump rope totally kicked my a**!" This Friday, I said that out loud at least a couple of times and thought it a good dozen more.

The one good thing about the jump rope struggle is that it pushed me to do something I've been meaning to do for a long time: go to a whole yoga class. I tried yoga a few years ago and found it incredibly tough because my lower body is not flexible at all and, at the time, I wasn't very strong. I knew the classes were good for me, but I found them so humiliating that I stopped going. Since I started really running, I've been thinking that some extra stretching would be helpful, but its been hard to convince myself to try again. Yesterday, the jump-rope-induced calf pain coincided with a half-day at work, meaning that I got home in time for a class on a day when I really needed to stretch. So, I finally gave it a shot, and it went well! The stretching is still hard for me, but a solid 18 months of weight training made everything else much more manageable. At the end of the class, I actually signed up for a 6-week "yoga for runners" session.

In semi-related news, I did my 3rd Saturday long run with the Annapolis Striders 2011 half-marathon training group this morning. 8 miles. It was definitely tougher than the two 6-mile weeks, but still very manageable. Now, I'm having one of those days where I can't eat enough. I ate a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel at 10am, and since then, I have been counting the seconds until lunch... which happens to be now.

Have a good weekend, everyone!

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Sorry, Bill Cosby...


...but Runners World is my new authority on pudding. A few months ago, when I was recovering from my appendicitis, I ate a ton of Kozy Shack SimplyWell pudding. I love this pudding for its relatively short list of recognizable ingredients and its low Points on Weight Watchers. Still, as I was digging into what was probably my second container one day, I remember thinking "How hard could it be to make this from scratch? I need to look for a recipe."

I forgot all about my pudding-making ambition until a couple weeks ago, when the new issue of Runner's World arrived in the mail. I don't subscribe to Runners World for the recipes, but they do feature a surprising number of good ones. As I was flipping through, the above photo caught my eye. Lo and behold, there was a simple recipe for mocha-cinnamon pudding, and almost every ingredient was something I always have on hand. The only exception was chocolate milk, which I almost never buy because I have a hard time not drinking the entire container the day I bring it home.

So, this week, I added (the smallest possible container of) chocolate milk to my grocery list and made the pudding. It looks pretty good in that photo, but it tastes even better. SO GOOD! Even better, the recipe actually lived up to its promise of simplicity. The whole process (which included chopping up chocolate) only took about 15 minutes. The recipe says that it yields 5 servings, but the pudding is very rich, so I think it might stretch to 6 or 7. For you Weight Watchers people, the Points are 4-5 per serving (depending on the size), which isn't bad for such a good dessert.

So, make some pudding now and thank me later!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Updates, Group Power and Weight Watchers

Today is my weight tracking day in Weight Watchers, as well as my second time doing the new Group Power release, so it seems like the right time for some updates.

Regarding Group Power- did I mention not being sore yesterday? Apparently, I spoke too soon. I really did not feel much soreness after Monday's class... until I went to today's class. Once I started doing all the new exercises for the second time, I could really feel the first time. I am fairly terrified of Boot Camp tomorrow, because all of the things I find hard about that class (particularly lunges and plank) are a big part of this Group Power release. Hopefully, there will be no puking or crying. We'll see.

As far as Weight Watchers goes, I am still enjoying the new system. I experienced a little weight spike over the holidays (though much less than expected), followed by a big drop that I think had more to do with the monthly bloating/un-bloating cycle than with how well I was following the plan. Today, I was back up half a pound, but the overall number seems right for the post-holiday recovery period.

This past weekend, I had a belated family holiday party to attend, so I had to bake another round of Christmas cookies. This was an opportunity to reflect on two important Weight Watcher tips:

1) Calculate Points yourself. Do not rely on the general guides that are available in the program materials and online. For example, the program materials say that two small homemade chocolate chip cookies equals 3 Points. I use two different chocolate chip cookie recipes, and I calculated the actual Points for each one by adding up the Points for each ingredient and dividing by the total yield of cookies. For the first recipe, the cookies are 4 Points each; for the second, they are 8 Points each. So, as you can see, if you don't figure it out yourself, you risk seriously underestimating your Points.

2) Manage your environment. For the first part of the holiday season, I had all of the Christmas cookies sitting on my kitchen table. This meant that I saw them multiple times each day, including at night when I am most inclined to overeat. I ate a lot of cookies. Then, I moved them to my pantry, where I go much less often, and probably cut my consumption by half. With this weekend's cookies, I brought the leftovers to work and left them out for my co-workers. The workday is not a time when I am inclined to overeat, so I effectively removed the temptation and made my co-workers happy. Perfect- I need to remember this strategy next year!

Dear New England,

I hear that you are having something like what we in the mid-Atlantic experienced last year: the crazy double-blizzard. We called it "Snowpacalypse" and "Snowmageddon." Being New England, you may have thought that you were prepared for any level of snow. I imagine that you are now realizing there is no adequate preparation for something like this.

Its okay. If you handle this the right way, it may just be the most fun you have in your adult life. Here is my advice on some things to do while you wait for someone to come dig you out:

-Break out any video game systems you have laying around. The older, the better. Now is the time to finally finish Super Mario World.

-Take a short walk and shop in the only places that will be open: 7-11 and the liquor store. For the next several days, eat nothing but grilled cheese, mac and cheese, frozen pizza, canned soup, and Oreos. Pair these foods with fine wines and craft beers. Its the best of kid and adult snow days combined!

No need to refrigerate!
-Take point-of-reference photos to show exactly how high the snow gets (see above). Get shots of snow-covered yards, fences, and trash cans. Take out a yard stick and photograph that. Stand on mountatins of snow. Then, spend several hours posting those photos online with captions like "Oh snow you didn't!'

-Shovel early and often. This is how you will justify all of the junk food and booze. Exception: if you let the snow get to 3 or 4 feet without shovelling (as I did), pay a neighborhood kid to shovel. Whatever it costs will be worth it.

-Pick up hobbies and household chores that you have never had time for before (and probably won't ever again). Get out the fondue pot, waffle iron and ice cream maker you got as wedding or housewarming gifts. Dust off the sewing machine. Organize things. I photographed sentimential items of clothing and then bagged them up for charity.

-Read anything unrelated to work and/or school. I read the Percy Jackson and the Olympians series.

-If you are single, take advantage of every online dating site that is free or offers some kind of free-trial period. A week stuck at home is the ideal time to get the most out of those deals. Bonus: you may meet someone who will help you shovel.

Whatever you do, have fun and (unless there's a real emergency) don't complain! This is the staycation you have always wanted- enjoy!

Sincerely,
 Alicia

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Suprisingly, I can move today.



Its only Tuesday and its already been a busy week! Yesterday, I had two big events to attend: the annual Board meeting at my office and the (slightly more fun) launch of the new Group Power release at my gym. Watch the video above for an idea of the latter, though I should comment that they left many of the new and HARD moves out of this trailer. This is a tough release. The theme is "Let's Move," but by halfway through, I was thinking they should change it to "Let's see if you can move tomorrow."

Difficulty aside, this is a fun class as always. If you have never tried a group weightligting class like Group Power, you should! You will be amazed at how much fun you have in this kind of class and how quickly you see results if you really commit to it. These classes are for all ages and ability levels- you can make the weights as heavy or as light as you want, and they always offer modifications if there are exercises you can't do.

To my great surprise, I'm not all that sore today, so I'm looking forward to going back and doing this release again tomorrow. Hopefully, I won't have to shovel too much to get there...

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Facebook is my genogram.

When I work with my counseling clients, I often use one of these:


Its called a genogram, and its a technique that comes out of family therapy. A genogram is like a multi-layered family tree of your client. It contains information about things like relationships among family members, occupations, significant births and deaths, substance abuse problems, marriages and divorces, and anything else that might be of interest in the therapy process.

The real beauty of the genogram is that it shows multi-generational patterns. I have never done one with a client and not had them have some kind of "aha!" moment. For example, I once had a client who could not understand why she had chosen a dishonest man with a substance abuse problem as a husband, particularly because she was honest, hard-working, and successful. We did a genogram and I saw that every adult woman in her family, going back several generations, was a hard-worker who supported a husband with an addiction, a major financial problem, or (most of the time) both. I pointed out that, growing up in her family, she had been taught that women work hard and take care of things, and that men always let women down in the end. She was stunned. She had never noticed this about her family before, but once it was laid out on paper right in front of her, she couldn't help but see it.

Just last night, my friend and fellow counselor Corrinne and I had dinner. We talked about these moments, which are some of the best ones in doing counseling, where you help a client see something about themselves that they have never noticed before. We talked extensively about genograms. Then, this afternoon, Facebook became my genogram.

After recovering from my morning run (which involved a nap and some brunch), I logged on to Facebook and started scrolling down my newsfeed. Toward the bottom, I saw something remarkable: A former boyfriend from all the way back in high school had posted a link to a YouTube video made by a guy I dated briefly a little over 3 years ago. These guys don't know each other. They live on opposite sides of the country. Neither of them has talked to me in a very long time. Guy #1 just happened to come across Guy #2's video, thought it was funny (it is), and posted it.

At first, I just laughed this off, thinking that its just another example of the world getting smaller. Then, I thought about it a bit more, and realized that it actually makes perfect sense. #1 and #2 have very similar interests and very similar senses of humor. If they met, they would probably like each other. Naturally, this got me thinking a little more. I recognize some patterns in the people I date, but I also think that what I'm looking for has changed over the years, as I mature and learn more about what works for me. What if I'm wrong, though? I always think about the first guy in this story (we'll call him A) as very different from anyone else I've dated since, but now I'm not so sure about that. Let's compare him to a few other significant love interests from my past, in chronologial order:

A:
-Loves classical music. Has degrees in music and has played music at least semi-professionally.
-Loves hockey.
-Enjoys role-playing games (both the video game kind and the D&D kind).
-Is very interested in Eastern Europe, and has travelled there.
-Has a silly sense of humor.
-Is (or at least was) a former committed Christian turned atheist.
-Is very smart.

B:
-Is a pastor's kid, raised in a committed Christian home, but now questions those beliefs.
-Enjoys role-playing games (the video game kind).
-Is very funny, but not really in a silly way.
-Is very smart.

C:
-Made movies about hockey.
-Enjoys puns and other silly humor.
-Enoys role-playing games (the video game kind).
-Is a former committed Christian turned atheist.
-Last I checked, was dating a Russian woman and travelling in Eastern Europe.
-Is very smart.

D:
-Loves classical music. Has a degree in music and teaches music. Has performed semi-professionally.
-Has a silly sense of humor.
-Is divorced from a Russian woman, has dated another Russian woman, and has travelled in Russia.
-Is a pastor's kid who grew up a committed Christian (but, this time, is still Christian).
-Is very smart.

E:
-Enjoys role-playing games (the D&D kind).
-Is funny, and sometimes in a silly way.
-Grew up in a Christian home (though not very committed) and is now a Buddhist.
-Is very smart.

So there you have it. Clearly, I have some patterns I hadn't noticed before. If I were including all the people I've ever dated here, as well as people I've just had major crushes on, I would have two more classical musicians, another person who ultimately married someone Russian, at least one more former committed Christian, and several more silly and smart people. Dang.

Obviously, some of these shared qualities are great and make perfect sense for me: Smart? Wonderful! Funny? Great! Musician? I like the arts too! Other qualities are just kind of strange: Why are they all obsessed with Eastern Europe? Did they like me because I have pale skin and blonde hair? And, some of these qualities are not so great for me: Why do I keep picking people with major baggage about the church?

So, I guess I have some things to think about. Can I forward my therapy bills to Facebook?

Friday, January 7, 2011

Good books (and other things that mess up my schedule)

As you may have noticed, I have been rather quiet this week. Its been a bit of an odd week, schedule-wise. Most of my office is away at a conference, so I have been almost or entirely alone at work. This happens from time to time, and has the potential for disaster in terms of productivity. I am sure that the absence of any concrete form of accountability is detrimental to many people's productivity, but it is especially problematic for people with ADHD. Long stretches of time with no structure and only vague due-dates are not my friend.

Fortunately, this particular circumstance arises often enough that I have worked out a coping strategy: Before the dead-office week begins, I write a to-do list for the whole week, setting goals which are reasonable to accomplish in a work-week's time. Then, I allow myself to relax things like hours and dress code, just as long as I make progress on the list every day. The result is often a more productive week than usual... but that's only productive in terms of work-work, not so much in terms of things I do to procrastinate from work-work (like, say, blogging).

Another reason for the lack of blogging is that I've been consumed all week by the "Chaos Walking" trilogy by Patrick Ness, which begins with this book:


My friend Kate (who happened to write one of my favorite books of 2010) recently mentioned the final book of this series, Monsters of Men, as one of her favorite books of 2010 on her blog.  She mentioned it alongside Mockingjay, the final book of the Hunger Games trilogy, and advised that "anybody who liked The Hunger Games" should start reading Chaos Walking "immediately if not sooner." I had never heard of Chaos Walking, but Kate has never steered me wrong where books are concerned and I love The Hunger Games, so I obeyed Kate's instructions at once. I fired up my Kindle and learned that Ness actually wrote a short prequel to Chaos Walking, The New World, which is available exclusively on the Kindle for free. Smart marketing! I read the prequel in about 20 minutes, and afterward I immediately downloaded all three full-length books and cleared my schedule for several days.

I get a little obsessive about books that I love. Reading is probably my all-time favorite activity (sorry, counseling, running, and eating), and I've always been a fast reader. Thus, I tend to go through a book or two a week just by reading a bit during dinner and before bed. When I find a book I really love, I am totally consumed. I must inhale it as quickly as possible, and then I usually read it once or twice more just to catch anything I missed the first time. I read Kate's book, The Boneshaker, three times the week it came out. I read each of the three Hunger Games books in one feverish day, and I've re-read them several times since. When I discover books like these, I find it impossible not to stay up too late and ignore other people and responsibilties until I've finished reading. (One of my best romantic relationships almost ended prematurely when the final Harry Potter book happened to come out on our anniversary.) 

The Chaos Walking books are the kind of books that make me obsessive. Kate is exactly right that these books are similar to The Hunger Games- in themes, audience, creativity, and addictiveness. I don't want to say too much about them because they hinge on suspense and surprise; I'll just say that I think they are examples of the best kind of books for younger readers. They address big and important themes (war, terrorism, colonialism, the modern information overload) in ways that are relatable without being dumbed-down. Plus, the stories and characters are engaging enough to keep the books from veering into preachy/overly philosophical territory. If you are a Hunger Games fan, you should definitely try these- just be forewarned that Ness's books are much longer, more difficult, and a little darker (hardly seems possible, but its true).

(And, if you have no idea what I'm talking about because you've never read of heard of any of the books listed above, you should follow the links, make a few purchases, and clear your calendar for the next few weeks!)  

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Everybody Follows Something

I preached this sermon at St. Andrew's United Methodist Church in Edgewater, MD on January 2, 2011.

Matthew 2:1-12

2In the time of King Herod, after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea, wise men from the East came to Jerusalem, 2asking, “Where is the child who has been born king of the Jews? For we observed his star at its rising, and have come to pay him homage.” 3When King Herod heard this, he was frightened, and all Jerusalem with him; 4and calling together all the chief priests and scribes of the people, he inquired of them where the Messiah was to be born. 5They told him, “In Bethlehem of Judea; for so it has been written by the prophet: 6‘And you, Bethlehem, in the land of Judah, are by no means least among the rulers of Judah; for from you shall come a ruler who is to shepherd my people Israel.’” 7Then Herod secretly called for the wise men and learned from them the exact time when the star had appeared. 8Then he sent them to Bethlehem, saying, “Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage.”

9When they had heard the king, they set out; and there, ahead of them, went the star that they had seen at its rising, until it stopped over the place where the child was. 10When they saw that the star had stopped, they were overwhelmed with joy. 11On entering the house, they saw the child with Mary his mother; and they knelt down and paid him homage. Then, opening their treasure chests, they offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. 12And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they left for their own country by another road.

Everybody Follows Something:
Matthew 2:1-12

On Thursday mornings, I take a class at my gym called Boot Camp. Every week, our instructor, Kate, comes up with new ways to torture us. One of Kate’s favorite torture devices is this:



Its called a Bosu. The idea behind the Bosu is that it takes traditional exercises and makes them harder by adding a balance challenge. So, instead of just doing squats, you do them while trying not to fall off the Bosu. Instead of jumping up onto a stationary box, you try to jump onto the Bosu and actually stay there. I find this very, very hard. There is a trick to it, though, and its pretty simple: During each exercise, you pick a spot ahead of you and focus your eyes on that spot. You don’t look at your feet. You don’t look at the Bosu. You don’t look at the other people around you. You find your spot and you focus on it. It totally works- if your focus is steady, the rest of you will be too. As soon as you get distracted and look away, you fall off. Every time.

When I learned that I would be preaching on the Epiphany story, I immediately thought of the Bosu, because I think that this story is all about focus. This is a story about people who put their faith in something and decide to follow it, wherever it might lead. They focus on their goal, resist the temptation to stray from it, and, in the end, they find overwhelming joy.

To prepare for this sermon, I did a little research on the Wise Men and their journey. It turns out that we don’t know much about who these men really are. Matthew is the only Gospel writer who mentions them at all, and he isn’t heavy on the details. All he really tells us is that they come from the East, they follow a star, and they are looking for a child they believe to be King of the Jews. He never even says there are three of them- we get that idea from the fact that they bring three gifts.

In the absence of information from Matthew, centuries of theologians and scholars have developed hundreds of theories about the Wise Men. If you search for “Three Wise Men” in Google, you can find enough reading material to last until next Epiphany. You can also find tons of speculation about the star in the story- is it a comet? An eclipse? A supernova? You would need PhD’s in history, archaeology, ancient languages, theology, and astronomy to really understand all of the ideas out there. I’m not quite that educated, and I’m sure that you would all like to get home sooner or later, so I won’t go into detail about many of these theories. But there are a few ideas which show up often enough to mention:

First, the Wise Men came from far away. We’re not sure what Eastern country they came from, but they probably traveled close to 1,000 miles to find Jesus. On foot or on camel, that’s a long trip.

Second, the Wise Men were almost certainly Gentiles. In the reading, they don’t seem to know the Hebrew prophecy about the Messiah being born in Bethlehem. Also, Matthew takes many opportunities in his Gospel to emphasize that Jesus’s salvation is for all people. He opens his Gospel with a genealogy of Jesus that includes several non-Jewish ancestors. Many scholars believe that Matthew includes the Wise Men in his Gospel is to emphasize that the baby Jesus is already calling Gentiles. So, the Wise Men weren’t necessarily looking for a Messiah.

Finally, the Wise Men were probably people who spent their lives studying the heavens for signs. We don’t really have a term for their occupation in today’s language, but they were sort of like astronomers/astrologers/priests. Under their belief system, the appearance of a new star was an important sign of a new king. These were men who spent their lives watching and waiting. Big events visible in the sky don’t happen very often. Think about Haley’s Comet: we can only see that on Earth every 75 years, so it’s a once-in-a-lifetime event for most people. Or, think about the lunar eclipse we just had on December 21st. That was the first lunar eclipse to occur on the winter solstice since 1638, 372 years ago. By the time they saw Jesus’ star, the Wise Men had probably spent decades scanning the sky, just hoping to see something important.

If we put these things together, we get a fuller picture of the Wise Men: They are men who spend their lives studying and waiting for a sign. When they finally see that sign, they don’t really know what it means, because they aren’t waiting for a Messiah. Still, its important enough that they set off on a long and dangerous journey to find out more. Their only guides are the star itself and their belief that it will lead them to something important- that the star is something worth following.

When I think about following something important, I think about something I read on a blog by my seminary friend, Emily. Under the title “Everybody Worships Something,” Emily shared an excerpt from a commencement speech by the novelist David Foster Wallace. Here’s just a little piece:

... in the day-to day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship… is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly… Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they're evil or sinful, it's that they're unconscious.
When I read this, I am reminded of a well-known verse from the Hebrew scriptures, Joshua 24:15. In this passage, Joshua addresses the people of Israel as they take possession of the Promised Land. He says “Now if you are unwilling to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve… but as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” Although they are separated by thousands of years, both Joshua and David Foster Wallace speak the same truth: everybody worships something, everybody serves something, everybody follows something. We don’t choose that we follow; we can only choose what we follow.

Here in the United States in 2011, we don’t really like that idea. We believe in freedom and independence. We believe we are masters of our own destinies, charting our own courses through life. But I think David Foster Wallace hits on a really important truth: We’re all following something, all the time, we just don’t always realize it. In my counseling work, I see this play out again and again. People who come to counseling often feel trapped in situations and circumstances they want to change. They feel like they have the same bad relationship over and over again, or make the same mistakes in their careers, or have the same conflicts with their families. Many of them come with the same questions- why do I keep doing this? Why does every path I take seem to lead to the same place? I want desperately to change, so why can’t I?

In order to answer these questions, I help my clients look carefully at their backgrounds: their families, their experiences, their relationships. When we really delve into this work, we almost always find patterns. One woman shares how, when she was a child, her father only seemed to pay attention to her looks. As an adult, she is vain and drawn to men who only care about her beauty. A man shares how he was relentlessly bullied on the playground. Now, he has a successful business, but is abusive toward his employees. Another woman spent her childhood helping her parents care for a terminally ill sibling. As an adult, she always finds herself involved with people who depend on her, and she resents them for it. Without realizing it, all of these people have been chasing something: a father’s affection, revenge on past bullies, a longing to save someone who couldn’t be saved. Its like they were handed maps early in life, and they’ve been following them without questioning where they lead.

Once my clients recognize the paths they are on, they can think about going in a different direction. It sounds like a contradiction, but we become more free when we acknowledge that we all follow something. Once we accept that, we actually have some choices. We can choose to stay on the same course, or we can choose to follow something else. Of course, this brings us to some difficult questions: How do we decide what to follow? And how do we know if we’re following the right thing?

As Christians, we already know the answer to the first question. We have decided to follow Jesus. The tougher question is how do we know that its actually Jesus we’re following? How can we be sure that we’re going in the right direction? I can only think of one way to answer this: we know whether or not we’re following the right thing by paying attention to where that thing leads us.

When I was a freshman in college, my parents came to visit me and I asked them to take me to a mall a few miles from my campus. This was almost 15 years ago, before I knew about Mapquest and before everyone got GPS. So, all I had was an address, but my Dad thought that would be enough. Now, to be fair, my Dad has an amazing sense of direction. He grew up in a tiny, rural town where they barely had streets, let alone street signs and maps. He learned to find things using instinct, and landmarks like hills and trees. It works for him- he hasn’t lived in his hometown for over 60 years, but whenever we visit, he just knows where everything is.

But my Dad didn’t know the area where I went to school, and he had never been to this mall before. We set out, in what he thought was the right direction, but we knew pretty quickly that something was wrong. We drove for quite awhile, but we just didn’t seem to be getting close to a mall. We didn’t see any billboards, or restaurants, or other businesses. We didn’t even see that many houses- the further we drove, the further we seemed to get from anything. After a good hour, my Dad finally accepted that something was wrong, and tried going a different direction, but things didn’t get any better. A couple hours into our journey, we pulled into a little town and had to stop for 20 minutes while a parade went down the street. Judging from my Dad’s mood, he took that parade pretty personally. After it passed, he finally accepted that his instinct was not the thing to follow in that situation, and he asked for some actual directions. We were at the mall in half an hour.

Its easy to make fun of my Dad in that story, but don’t we all do the same thing sometimes? Don’t we ignore the signs all around us that what we’re doing is not getting us where we want to go? Doesn’t it sometimes take something as big and loud as a parade to wake us up? I think that recognizing we’re on the wrong path and changing direction is one of the hardest things we do in life, and we all have to do it sometimes.

Being on the right path has its challenges too. Sometimes, our own guiding stars shine so brightly that we can follow them easily. Other times, they are so dim that we can barely see them anymore. This is why we need to journey with other people. That’s another important detail about the Wise Men: they aren’t alone. Based solely on the Gospel, we can’t be sure that there are three of them- maybe there are 4, or 12, or 2. We just know that its Wise Men and not Wise Man. And I think that’s very important. When we set out to follow Jesus, we need companions to accompany us and help us stay on course. In fact, I think that one of the ways we recognize the right path is by the companions we find there.

When I was in seminary, I went to chapel every day and I loved it. The services were always interesting, creative, and spirit-filled. I loved the people there and I got great energy and ideas from them. I often thought about how easy it was to be excited about ministry in that atmosphere, and I wondered how I would sustain that energy when I got out of school and returned to the “real world.” Fortunately, my friend Emily was there to help me back then, just as she helps me now. At one of the last chapel services before I graduated, Emily gave everyone a small ribbon. Then, we all tied those ribbons onto the cross in our chapel. By the end, we had chains that stretched from one end of the room to the other. Emily told us that those chains represented our community. No matter where we are, for the rest of our lives, we can think about those chains and know that we are all united around the cross.

I remember that service whenever I have doubts about devoting my life to ministry. I know that whatever led me to that place and to those people is worth following. I also think about that when I sit here on Sundays, or attend a United Methodist Women meeting, or volunteer at the Lighthouse shelter. I thought about it at Rachel Forney’s funeral. If what I’m following leads me to a place like St. Andrew’s, and to people like Fred and Rachel, then I know I should keep following it. And with people like that around me, I know I can face the challenges of the journey.

As United Methodists, we also have another source of encouragement on our journeys. We believe in what our founder John Wesley called “prevenient grace.” Prevenient grace is the belief that God actively seeks relationships with each and every one of us. Even when we are not seeking God, God is seeking us. When Jesus was born, God sent a sign to a group of Gentile astrologers 1,000 miles away, leading them to the Messiah. Today, God still sends signs to us, leading us to places like this and people who can help us. Its up to us to recognize those signs and follow them. In a few minutes, when we all get up to greet one another, take a look around: I think you’ll see hundreds of little signs that God is reaching out to us, drawing us into closer relationship.

In the church, Epiphany Sunday always falls right around New Year’s, and I think that makes a lot of sense. New Year’s is a time when many of us think about the path we’re on, and whether or not our lives are going in the right direction. Now is a great time to reflect on what you are following and where its taking you. If you’re not on the right path, it’s a great time to change direction. If you’re beginning to waver- like me on that Bosu- it’s a great time to re-focus. If you see one of your travel companions struggling or doubting, it’s a great time to offer some encouragement. Keep in mind that there are people who follow you, and think about where you want to lead them.

We’re all following something. It led us to this place, it led us to each other, and I believe that it will lead us home. Amen.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

I like to go against the grain.

So, its New Year's, the day when people put away the holiday cookies and dust off the treadmill. For me, its the perfect day to make some fried chicken:
Just call me Colonel Popeye.
The recipe for this fried chicken is one of the first things in Thomas Keller's Ad Hoc at Home, which is Chef Keller's cookbook aimed at mere mortals like myself (as opposed to culinary Gods). Like most of the other recipes in Ad Hoc, this one is manageable for a reasonably skilled at-home cook, but its still a stretch. Doing it right means buying and butchering a whole chicken, making lemon-herb brining liquid, brining the chicken for 10-12 hours, tempering it for another 90 minutes, preparing the flour/cayenne/paprika/pepper coating, executing a 3-step coating process, and then frying everything on the stove in the right order and without burning down your house. This is what Michael Pollan is talking about in his book Food Rules when he says that you can eat all the junk food you want, as long as you make it yourself. If I wanted to eat this chicken everyday, I would have to quit my job.

I started working on this Thursday night, when I went to Whole Foods for the ingredients and prepared the brining liquid. Today, I had no plans other than running and writing a sermon, so I spread the other chicken-making steps out over the course of the day. Early this morning, I cut the whole chicken into pieces and put it in the brining liquid. In the afternoon, I made the flour/spice coating and set it aside. A little later, I realized that I didn't need all the buttermilk I had bought for coating the chicken and decided to make some biscuits. There's a biscuit recipe in Ad Hoc, but it called for two whole sticks of butter to make only 12 biscuits. I was sure that the Weight Watchers ETools would crash if I tried to calculate the Points for that, so I turned to the very-helpful Cooking Light Everyday Favorites and found a more reasonable (and still quite tasty) recipe. A couple hours after I made the biscuits, I took the chicken out of the brine, rinsed it off, and let it come up to room temperature for the precribed 90 minutes.

Finally, a little before 8, it was time to fry. In the book, Chef Keller lays out a very specific order and timing for how to execute all the steps involved in cooking the chicken. I did my best to follow along, but I definitely made a few mistakes. Coating the chicken involved three steps: dredging in the flour/spice mixture, dipping in buttermilk, and then dredging in flour/spice a second time. After that, it all got fried in batches in oil heated to very precise temperatures. I screwed up the timing and temps a little, which made some of the coating come off and resulted in slightly oilier chicken than I wanted, but it still looked pretty good when I put it on the plate.

Then came the best part: the first bite. Chef Keller claims that his is the best recipe for fried chicken in the world. When I read that, I thought it sounded a little arrogant. After tasting it, I am a believer. This chicken is AMAZING. The lemon-herb brine makes the meat juicy and flavorful, and the flour/buttermilk/spice coating has all the crispy goodness you want from fried chicken with an added little kick from the cayenne and paprika. My version of this chicken- made with my amateur, semi-skilled, home-cook hands- is easily the best fried chicken I've ever tasted. I can not imagine what it must be like when the Man himself makes it. I'm not sure I could handle it. 

So, take that New Year's resolutions! I will definitely be putting in extra treadmill and spin class time to make up for this chicken, but it will be worth it. A delicious start to 2011!