Monday, August 29, 2011

My weekend with Irene.

In my last post, I complained about how Hurricane Irene resulted in my second consecutive year of not running the Annapolis 10-miler. Apparently, the universe decided I needed cheering up, because within a few minutes, I got two pieces of good news:

1) I am approved to take the MD state law exam for counseling licensure. This means that my application for an LGPG (Licensed Graduate Professional Counselor) license, which I submitted in late June, has been approved by the Board of Professional Counselors and Therapists. Now, I take the law exam (the next date is in late September). Once I pass, I can actually be licensed! This is a long and often frustrating process, but it is actually happening! I might get to be a counselor before I forget how.

2) My professional Iron Girl photos got posted, and they are actually good! As a general rule, I am not a photogenic person, and nowhere is this more true than in race photos. I have never mastered the art of smiling at the photographer, or raising my arms in triumph. Instead, I tend to look like this:

This photo, from the 2010 Cold Turkey 10K, features several of my usual photo problems: grimace, squinting, double-chin, unflattering pose. I have many worse examples, but my self-esteem is not solid enough to post them.

Fortunately, I did better at Iron Girl. Not all the photos are great, but there are enough good ones that I paid to download them. Here are the best ones:

Bike shot #1: before I lost my number.

Bike shot #2: no number. Not sure how they knew this was me without it.

Run shot. I think this is close to the end.

Finish picture. I remember thinking "That's not going to be good" after they took this. Glad I was wrong!

After my flood of good news, I was able to approach the hurricane with a better attitude. I made all the necessary preparations, gathering flashlights, candles, non-perishable food, and, of course, booze:

Always have a flashlight ready so you can find your wine in the dark.
Unlike many of my Annapolis friends, who still don't have power, I wound up being over-prepared. Nothing exciting happened at my house on Saturday, until about 8:30 or 9pm. At that point, I still had power and was reading by a window when I heard a terrifying BOOM on my roof. A few seconds later, a big tree branch landed right outside the window where I was sitting. I stuck my head outside to investigate and saw that the tree branch was not nearly large enough to have made the sound. I looked around some more, but it was dark and I couldn't see anything.

Sunday morning, I woke up surprised to find that I still had power. Around 7am, I was in the kitchen making breakfast when I turned and looked out my kitchen window. Normally, this window shows a view of my neighbor's house. Sunday morning, all I saw were leaves. I had found the source of the BOOM. I walked outside and found this:

That's one branch of a very big tree. This branch alone is the size of a small tree.
The branch from the back.
 Miraculously, this branch managed to fall from the tree, hitting both my roof and my neighbors' house on the way down, without actually damaging anything!

A few minutes after I found this branch, my power went out. I called my parents and told them about the situation, and my mom told me that she and dad would be right over to help with the tree. I asked "How can you do that when I don't have power?," and my mom replied "That's okay. We'll bring the gas-powered chain saw." I hung up the phone, grateful for the help, but also wondering why my parents own more than one chain saw.

Once mom and dad arrived, we made quick work of the branch. After about an hour, we had two piles. The wood pile:


...and the leaf pile:



Then, a few hours after my parents went home, the power came back on. I never even had to light the candles. So, all in all, I was very lucky.

Today, I had one more bit of good fortune to soothe my A10 disappointment. My friend Ryan and his wife Bethany travel up from Atlanta every year to run the race. Their schedule is always packed, so seeing them is always a logistical challenge. Our original plan had been a rushed brunch right after the race. Ryan and Bethany didn't get the news about the race soon enough to change their travel plans, so they wound up in MD with a much freer schedule than usual. Today, we got to meet for a long and leisurely lunch in DC, which was probably much more pleasant than it would have been right after the race. We all agreed that 2012 will be our year to finally run together!

Saturday, August 27, 2011

The impossible dream.

The news came Thursday afternoon: the City of Annapolis cancelled the 2011 Annapolis 10-mile run in anticipation of Hurricane Irene. The race directors met yesterday and decided that it can not be rescheduled, so it is really over.

Last year, on the Thursday before the 2010 A10, I left work early with a stomachache. The following day, I was having an appendectomy and realizing I would not be running. So, this is two years in a row that I have registered for the A10 and paid for the A10, but will not be running the A10. I'm starting to think its me.

I find this particularly disappointing because the A10 is a race that I have wanted to run for many years. Back in 2002, I worked in an office full of guys who challenged one another to run the race. Most of them had not run in years, but they trained all summer and ran the race together. I joined the office a few weeks into their training, and they invited me along, but I knew I couldn't keep up. From that time until I started running seriously in 2009, I did several stints of semi-serious running. Every time I got started, I would think "maybe one day, I'll run the A10." Yet, I never trained seriously enough to make 10 miles feel attainable.

In 2009, I started running more seriously. That year, I did my first 5-mile race and thought "If I can do this, I can do the A10." The 5-miler was in November, and I remember thinking that if I trained hard enough, I might be able to do 10 miles by the following August. Lo and behold, by August 2010 I had already run a 10-mile race as well as two half-marathons, and I was well on my way to running a marathon. So, I stopped looking forward to the A10 as a goal and started looking forward to it as a celebration of everything I had accomplished.

This year, I approached the A10 having done three 10-mile races, six half-marathons, a metric marathon, a full marathon, and a triathlon. Even after all that, crossing the A10 finish line was still something I really wanted to achieve. So I'm bummed. Better luck next year, I guess!

Stay safe, everyone!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Predictions and results.


To understand this post, you need a little background information on the people involved:

My parents: In general, I have supportive parents. I am very different from them, and they are baffled by at least half the things I choose to do, but they always seem to rally and support me anyway. I know I am very lucky in this regard and I am very grateful to them.

However, my parents are both fairly shy people who do not like crowds, are wary of travel, and are generally nervous trying new things. Thus, when supporting me involves travelling, being in a crowd, and doing things that are new to them (for example, coming to a big race), they get pretty uncomforable. Despite all this, my mom has made an effort to come to my most important races (my first half, MCM, and IronGirl). I never expect to see her out waving signs or wearing a "Team Alicia" t-shirt, but I know what it takes for her to get there at all and I appreciate it.

For the purposes of this story, you should also know that my mother is one of the world's all-time most accomplished worriers. No matter what news/idea/suggestion you share with her, she will come up with a way that it will result in death and destruction. For example, "I just won the lottery!" will be met with "You know, you'll have to pay taxes on that." So, you can imagine her response to "I, your beloved youngest child, am going to swim across a lake, bike on a road with cars, and then run up a bunch of hills in the sweltering heat." She was a little concerned.

Me: Shockingly, the child of worry-wart parents who run away from new experiences grew up wanting to go everywhere and try everything. Yet, having grown up fairly sheltered, I do get really nervous trying new things on my own. My solution: information and organization. The more nervous I am about something, the more I gather all available information and organize my endeavor to within an inch of its life. I am a big believer in lists and itineraries.

How this all comes together: For my biggest races/atheltic endeavors, especially when I know my mom is coming, I invest a lot of time in information-gathering and organizing. This is both for myself, and so I can help my mom feel as comfortable as possible. I give her maps and information about the event that she can read while she waits for me. I also give her approximate itineraries: when we will get there, when the event will start, when I expect to finish.

Historically, my predictions on these itineraries have been terrible. Before my first half-marathon, I told her that it would probably take me at least 3 hours. I finished in 2:24, when she was still in the car driving to the event. For my first marathon, I gave her a predicted finish time of 5-5 1/2 hours after the start. I failed to realize that it would take me 40 minutes just to cross the start line, and I had no idea that I would fall apart halfway through and wind up taking over 6 hours to finish. Thus, my predicted time was off by almost 2 hours.

When I gave mom her itinerary for IronGirl, I made a point of noting multiple times, right on the paper itself, that all times were approximate. Here's what I predicted:

Swim (.62mi): 35 minutes
Transition #1: 5 minutes
Bike (17.5mi): 90 minutes
Transition #2: 3 minutes
Run (3.3mi): 35 minutes

Total: 2 hours, 48 minutes

Apparently, I am much better at predicting triathlon times than I am at predicting run times. I checked the IronGirl results yesterday and here's what I saw:

Swim: 34:24 (place: 1490/1631)
Transition #1: 4:23 (938)
Bike: 1:26:43 (1383)
Transition #2: 1:57 (485)
Run: 38:57 (980)

Total: 2:46:22 (1332)

All in all, my predictions were spot-on. I hope this speaks to how well I prepared for this event. Compared to some of my running events, I spent a lot more time in my tri-training simulating the actual race conditions as closely as possible. I went into this race with a pretty clear sense of what I would be able to do, and I think I came out of it with good ideas about how to improve.

As you can see, the place where I most over-estimated myself was on the run. My best 5K times are all around 27 minutes, so I thought adding 8 minutes would be enough to account for the accumlated fatige and the extra .2 miles. Obviously not. Even though I had done multi-sport workouts and practiced on the actual run course, I was still not ready for how hard it would be. For next year, I definitely need to spend more time biking on hills and then running on hills.

The place where I under-estimated myself was on transitions. Given my love of organization and efficiency, I should have realized that this would be a strength. I actually felt like I was dawdling a bit. I am very pleased with these times (esp. #2), and also sure I can do them faster.

The other significant "result" from this event was my mom's experience. All in all, I think she had a good time. She didn't like the idea of catching the spectator shuttle busses on her own, so she left Annapolis with me at 4:15AM and sat at the finish area until I came through. Luckily, we were able to hook up with my friend Marie's family, so she had company almost the whole time. I thought she might be inspired enough to try racing herself (she is very active and fit). That didn't happen, but she was very interested in the whole atmosphere and the diversity of women competing. She also left with ideas of how to be a better spectator next year. So, now we both have our goals!



Sunday, August 21, 2011

IronGirl!


Marie and I pre-race, trying to stay calm.
I survived! IronGirl/tri #1 is in the books now, and it was awesome. Shockingly, I don't have much energy for post-race processing at the moment (or for much other than sitting and eating), but here's a quick run-down and some photos:

Around 7AM, we had an unexpected downpour. This is the finish seen through the rain. The result: a delayed start and VERY soggy shoes!
Arrival: I heeded all the dire warnings and got there super-early. My mom (who is a trooper) and I left Annapolis at 4:15AM and were there by 5. I was set up by about 5:15 and then just had to wait until I went in the water at 8:10. I might not go so early again, as I had way too much time to sit around and get nervous. The upshot, though, was that I also had time to go to the bathroom a bunch of times and I did not have to stop mid-race (a rarity).

My mom got this great shot of my swim wave going off.
The Swim: All of my panicked, last-minute swim training definitely paid off. I'm pretty sure I knocked at least 5 minutes off my dress rehearsal time. I still back-stroked much of it, but it was a much more coordinated effort this time out- I never felt like I was just out there flailing around. Also, it went by pretty quickly, as opposed to the dress rehearsal which felt endless. So, I left the water feeling pretty good.

Transition #1: I will be interested to see my transition times when the results come out, because I felt like I moved pretty quickly. Swim-to-bike it the more complicated transition and it went really smoothly. Again, I was VERY lucky to (randomly) get a prime spot in the transition area.

The Bike: Like the swim, this went better than expected. I still feel so inexperienced on the bike that I was worried I would just get in the way of other riders. Fortunately, my first bike race was much like my first running race: I quickly realized the plenty of people were no more skilled or better prepared, and quite a few were less so. This was actually the first time I really enjoyed the bike ride, and it went by pretty fast. My one problem was that I have a hard time taking a drink and putting my bottle back while riding. As a result, I'm pretty sure I did not hydrate or re-fuel enough, and I paid for it on the run.

Transition #2: This was very simple, especially since I rode my bike in my running shoes. I did take a minute to take the huge drink of water I had been dreaming about my whole bike ride!

The Run: I expected this to be "my" leg of the tri, but it was BRUTAL. I did quite a few multi-sport workouts in my training, but nothing prepared me for this level of accumulated fatigue. The super-hilly course and the fact that everyone around me seemed to be walking did not help. I got through mile 1 without walking, but I think I walked more of 2 than I ran. Then, as I finished mile 2, my friend Scott met me on the trail. He ran with me for most of the last mile, which was just the motivation I needed to get to the finish line running. By the time I hit the finish, I was in the midst of a wave of stomach cramps that persisted for the next half-hour... but I was still really happy!

Marie and I celebrate being IronGirls!
 
Walking over to greet friends and family. My mom missed me at the finish line, but I don't mind because the reason is that I came in 10 minutes earlier than expected!
Recovery: As I mentioned, I had a fun little bout of stomach cramps post-race, but they subsided after about 30 mins of sitting, a snack, and some water. Now, I am at home addressing my insatiable post-race hunger and trying to sneak in a nap. I have a massage appointment first thing in the morning, for which I am very grateful!

A favorite post-race recovery tool, and the closest I want to get to an Ironman.
All in all, this was an amazing day! I am as giddy as I had hoped to be after MCM, and as I hope I will be again after NYC! Thanks for all your support, friends!

Saturday, August 20, 2011

The night before.

IronGirl is tomorrow! I don't have a whole lot to say about it that I didn't cover in my last post, but I do have a few photos from the final preprations:

I got this wristband at the Expo yesterday and I will wear it until I leave the event tomorrow. No backing out now! The volunteer who put it on said I had the smallest wrists she had seen. One of the few ways I look like my Mom.

My bike, all racked and ready to go. I got an excellent spot in the transition area, for which I am very thankful!

My main gear bag. I also have a smaller bag for food and trash. I have to take a lot of stuff to this thing, but it is much less complicated than packing for a triathlon AND a wedding!

So that's that. Everything is ready, and now I just have to figure out how to get to sleep so I can get up at 3:30AM. This morning, when I woke up from a stress dream about forgetting my timing chip, I decided that I am officially more nervous about this event than I was about MCM. I think MCM just felt simpler- all I had to do was run, and I know how to run. Tomorrow, I have to swim, transition, bike, transistion again, and then run, and the run is the only thing I'm sure I know how to do. Yet, on the whole, I think I am better prepared for IronGirl than I was for MCM, and I am also more excited.

Stay tuned for the race report!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Are you ready?

This photo is from the John Wall 1-miler back in July,
but I hope to create a similar image on Sunday!

This is a question several people have asked me over the past few days. According to the countdown clock on the IronGirl website, my first triathlon is (as of this second) 3 days, 10 hours, and 44 minutes away! So, I suppose "Are you ready?" is an appropriate question.

Answer: Yes and no. At this point, I am confident that I can finish and that I will not go through the misery I experienced during my first marathon. I am definitely better prepared for this race than I was for that one. At the same time, I feel like I finally figured out exactly how I should be training and got in a good groove over the past three weeks. So, its hard not to think about how much better prepared I would be if I had figured it all out sooner.

But I'm trying not to think about that! Instead, I'm focusing on one of the lessons I learned from MCM, which is that you can only be so prepared for something you are doing for the first time. Nothing about all the training I put in really prepared me for what it was like to run a marathon. Now, the second time around, I feel like I have a much better idea of what I'm doing and what I need to do to be ready. I assume the same will be true of triathlons. Which, of course, means I'll have to do at least one more...

Here's a sport-by-sport breakdown of how I'm feeling:

1) The swim. I started swimming all the way back in January, but I had a very hard time establishing a consistent training schedule. The problem is that the closest indoor pool is about 10-15 mins from my house and often crowded. The best time for me to go there is on weekday evenings, and I have a hard time getting motivated to do much of anything after work. For awhile, I was getting there for an hour every Friday evening, but then summer rolled around and the pool started closing on Fridays. D'oh!

Finally, in late July, I contacted the athletic director of a small college less than a block from my office in DC. It turned out that I could get unlimited use of their pool- which includes a locker, towel service, and parking- until October 1st for $100. Problem solved. Now, I go there on my lunch breaks or right after work and feel like an idiot that I didn't ask about it sooner. Since I joined that pool, I have swam at least 2-3 times/week every week, and my swimming has improved by leaps and bounds. I still expect that I will have to backstroke a decent portion of the swim leg, but I am hopeful that I will improve a good bit over my dress rehearsal performance.

2) The bike. I expect the bike to be my weakest leg by far. Unlike the swim, I have never found a consistent bike training routine. Some weeks, I get to a couple of spin classes and ride around my neighborhood. Then, I'll go for a couple weeks without riding at all. Over the past two weeks, I have done three rides with my friend Marie, including two rides on the IronGirl course itself. These rides have made a big difference, so I wish I had started doing them sooner. My first trip around the IG course was miserable. The second- which was only a week later- was much better. I think that knowing what I was in for made a difference, but I was also better fueled on my second trip and I had added toe clips to my bike. So, I'm hopeful that my third tour of the course will be my best yet, even if I still have significant room for improvement.

3) The run. I was always best prepared for this leg, and that has not changed. Still, the run course is very challenging. I think the keys for this part will be staying focused and fueled. When Marie and I did our bike-to-run workout a couple weeks ago, I definitely did not eat enough and the run was miserable. So, I will absolutely be packing extra fuel for the bike-to-run transition. I'm hopeful that the excitement of getting to do what I'm best at will give me an extra push at the end of the race!

Monday, August 15, 2011

Still Speaking.

I preached this sermon at St. Andrew's United Methodist Church in Edgewater, MD on August 14th, 2011.

For this sermon, I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Dr. Daniel Deffenbaugh of Nebraska for his blog post "Gathering Others," which you can read here. I really had no idea where I was going with this text before reading his post.

I also mention fellow Bryn Mawr alum Beth Stroud in this post. You can read more about her here. As a postscript to her story, I should mention that she served in ministry in a lay capacity for some time after being defrocked by the UMC and is now working on a PhD at an institution almost as illustrious as Bryn Mawr.  


Matthew 15:10-28

10Then he called the crowd to him and said to them, “Listen and understand: 11it is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but it is what comes out of the mouth that defiles.” 12Then the disciples approached and said to him, “Do you know that the Pharisees took offense when they heard what you said?” 13He answered, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be uprooted. 14Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if one blind person guides another, both will fall into a pit.” 15But Peter said to him, “Explain this parable to us.” 16Then he said, “Are you also still without understanding? 17Do you not see that whatever goes into the mouth enters the stomach, and goes out into the sewer? 18But what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart, and this is what defiles. 19For out of the heart come evil intentions, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander. 20These are what defile a person, but to eat with unwashed hands does not defile.” 

21Jesus left that place and went away to the district of Tyre and Sidon. 22Just then a Canaanite woman from that region came out and started shouting, “Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is tormented by a demon.” 23But he did not answer her at all. And his disciples came and urged him, saying, “Send her away, for she keeps shouting after us.” 24He answered, “I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel.” 25But she came and knelt before him, saying, “Lord, help me.” 26He answered, “It is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.” 27She said, “Yes, Lord, yet even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters’ table.” 28Then Jesus answered her, “Woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish.” And her daughter was healed instantly.

Still Speaking:
Matthew 15:10-28        


I won’t be here with you next Sunday. Instead, I’ll be in Columbia competing in my first triathlon: a .6 mile open-water swim, followed by a 17.5 mile bike ride, and a 3.3 mile run. I registered for this event on November 1st, so, for almost 9 months now, August 21, 2011 has been burned into my brain as the day I face one of the biggest challenges of my life.

August 21st will be a big day for me. Yet, I may end up remembering August 14th as the day I faced an even bigger challenge: preaching on this morning’s Gospel text. In the United Methodist church, preachers aren’t required to preach on the Gospel text from the lectionary. In fact, we don’t have to preach on the lectionary at all. We can choose a different Scripture text, or just pick a topic. Yet, Pastor Dave has always chosen to preach on the lectionary, and so do I. We each have our own reasons, but I know we have at least one in common: When you choose to preach on the lectionary, sometimes you have to preach on difficult texts. Texts you don’t really understand or like. Texts you would just as soon avoid. As a lectionary preacher, you have to face those texts and see if you can find some truth in them. For me, today’s Gospel is one of those texts.

It starts out well enough: In the first part, Jesus talks to his disciples about some of the purity laws that they observe as Jews- rules about what to eat and how to stay ritually clean. Jesus doesn’t condemn these rules. In fact, He probably follows them himself. But he warns his disciples that simply following the rules doesn’t mean a person is leading a Godly life. What a person puts in his or her mouth doesn’t reveal what is in that person’s heart. Instead, Jesus says that people should be judged by the words that come out of their mouths.

It makes sense to me. Imagine two hypothetical people: Person A goes to church every Sunday, tithes 10% of their income, reads the Bible every day, and makes something delicious for every bake sale. Yet, Person A also gossips about friends and neighbors, is rude and abusive to co-workers, and never has a good word to say to anyone. Person B, on the other hand, has never even heard of Jesus. Person B has never been to a church or read the Bible. Yet, Person B is honest, kind, and charitable. Person B chooses words carefully, only saying what will help and encourage friends and neighbors. Person A may be ritually pure, but Person B has a pure heart.

Jesus spends much of the Gospels exposing the hypocrisy of the Person A’s in his community, and reaching out to the Person B’s. Yet, in the second half of today’s text, Jesus seems to do just the opposite. A woman approaches him on the road. Her daughter is tormented by a demon, and she is desperate for help. By this point in the Gospel, Jesus has performed many miraculous healings, so we know he can heal this woman’s daughter. Yet, he ignores her. Why? Because she is a Canaanite and he believes he’s been sent only to the Jews. Jesus tries to sends the woman away. Then, when she persists in her request, Jesus does the unthinkable: he calls this desperate woman and her child “dogs”! When I hear these hurtful and demeaning words come out of Jesus’ mouth, I have to wonder- what is in his heart? What causes him to treat this woman so badly? And then, what causes him to change his mind and grant her request?

As confused as I am by Jesus, I’m just as confused by the Canaanite woman. She approaches Jesus for help and gets rejected four separate times: First, Jesus ignores her. Then, the disciples try to send her away. Then, Jesus says that he can’t help her because she’s not from Israel. And finally, Jesus calls her a dog. Four rejections, but she doesn’t give up. She keeps asking for help. Would you do the same? Would you beg for help from someone who insults you and your child? Or would you say “Fine, we don’t need your help anyway!” Personally, I think I would walk away.

 Imagine if this story happened today. Imagine that a woman brought her troubled daughter to someone like me- a pastoral counselor. I would have no right to refuse her based on where she comes from. To turn her away like that would be immoral, unethical, and illegal. I would be violating the ethics of my profession- opening myself up to being fired, or sued, or both.

Imagine if a friend or relative told you a story like this one. What if a woman from here in Edgewater tried to take her child to a famous doctor in Washington, DC? And what if that doctor called them a couple of rednecks and told them to go back home? Would you tell that woman to keep going to that doctor? I know I wouldn’t. I’d tell her to take her business elsewhere, and maybe even to file a complaint.
Yet, the Canaanite woman doesn’t walk away. She doesn’t seek help elsewhere. She wants Jesus’ help, and she argues until he gives in. Why? I think the only possible answer is that she believes in Jesus and Jesus alone. She believes that Jesus can help her daughter, in a way that no other person can. She is willing to swallow her pride and do whatever it takes to get Jesus’ attention because she believes that he’s the real deal. She needs his help, and no one else will do.

As I worked on this sermon, I came across an essay by a religion professor named Daniel Deffenbaugh. Dr. Deffenbaugh points out the Canaanite woman’s persistence in the face of rejection, and compares it to the persistence of people who are marginalized by their own churches. We all know that there are religious communities who have to fight to practice their faiths: Christians in China who defy the state by meeting in secret house churches. The Christians in Pakistan that Usha tells us about, who face the possibility of violence every time they go to church. These communities are incredibly courageous and important, but they aren’t who Dr. Deffenbaugh is talking about. Dr. Deffenbaugh isn’t talking about people whose faith is attacked from outside their churches; he is talking about people whose faith is attacked from within their churches. People like the Canaanite woman, who stay and fight for what they believe in even when they have every reason to walk away. 

When I think about marginalized people in the church, many examples come to mind. I think about African-American Christians. During slavery, many African-Americans found strength and hope in the Christian faith. This is amazing to me, because Christianity was the religion of slave-owners. Christianity was used to defend the practice of slavery. After slavery, Christianity was used to defend the continued oppression of African-Americans. For centuries, African-Americans have witnessed the worst kinds of hypocrisy from fellow Christians. Yet, instead of turning their backs on Christianity, generations of African-Americans have seen a truth in Jesus more powerful than any hypocrisy. They believe in that truth, and they’ve used it to fight for their rightful places, in the church and in society. 

The Canaanite woman also reminds me of the Roman Catholic women I met in seminary. Many of these women would love to be ordained clergy. They have the education for it, the passion for it, and the skills for it, but their church doesn’t allow it. If they wanted to, my friends could leave the Roman Catholic church and join a church that ordains women. There are many churches that would welcome them as clergy. Yet, they consider the Catholic church their home, so they stay. They believe in their church, even in the face of what feels like rejection. 

I also think of my friend Beth Stroud, a fellow Bryn Mawr alum and a former United Methodist pastor. Several years into Beth’s ministry career, she made the decision to tell her congregation that she is in a committed lesbian relationship. Under the rules of our denomination, Beth’s relationship makes her unfit for ministry, and her credentials as an ordained pastor were revoked. Beth fought this decision all the way to the highest governing body in our church, the Judicial Council, which ultimately ruled against her. The case went on for several years. It drew a lot of attention, both within and outside our denomination. Much of that attention was positive, but much was negative and hateful. At any point in this difficult process, Beth could have walked away. Like my Roman Catholic friends, she could have found a denomination that would welcome her service. She could have left ministry altogether and been successful in a different career. But Beth didn’t leave. She was baptized United Methodist, raised United Methodist, and she believes in the United Methodist Church. Despite everything she has been through, she still considers our church home.   

Now, I realize that some of these examples are controversial. I realize that that people of good faith and conscience have different opinions about them. I bring them up not to advocate for one point of view over another, but to highlight what they have in common. In all of these cases, people love and believe in their churches. They believe in them enough to stick with them, even when they have good reasons to walk away. Whether we agree with these people or not, I think we have to acknowledge the faith and courage and love it takes for them to keep fighting. We should all love our churches that much. 

I think that Jesus recognizes this kind of faith in the Canaanite woman. In writing about this text, many scholars suggest that Jesus is merely testing the woman’s faith. They explain away Jesus’ rejections and harsh words by saying that it’s all part of a bigger plan. Personally, I don’t buy that. To me, the idea that Jesus is just testing this woman takes away the wonder of what really happens in this story: Jesus changes his mind.

When Jesus first sees this woman, he has one idea about his mission, and it doesn’t include her. His followers agree and want to send her away. But Jesus doesn’t send her away. He listens to what she has to say, and what she says changes his mind. It changes his mind about her, and it changes his mind about his mission. The Canaanite woman is not from Jesus’ community. She doesn’t share the same beliefs or follow the same rules as Jesus and his disciples. Yet, Jesus hears the words that come from her mouth, recognizes what’s in her heart, and decides that she deserves a place at his table. 

This story reminds me of an ad campaign from the United Church of Christ. The slogan is “God is still speaking.” I’ve always liked this slogan because I think it expresses a real truth: Our God is a living God. We don’t worship a God who said his piece and moved on. Our God is still engaged with us, still listening to us, and still communicating with us. To me, that’s what today’s text is all about. Jesus and the disciples live by a set of laws that tell them one thing. But, every once in awhile, God breaks in and tells them something else. At first, Jesus believes he is only called to the people of Israel. Then, God breaks in, in the form of the Canaanite woman, and changes his mind. 

Of course, this isn’t always easy. Take a look at the Book of Acts, which is the history of the early church. In that book, we learn that the first Christians spent much of their time debating who should and should not be allowed into the church. And these debates are still going on today. Across all denominations, Christians of good conscience still disagree about who does and does not belong. God is still speaking, but sometimes it seems like he’s telling different people different things.

Still, I think today’s text is an important reminder that we Christians should never get too comfortable with our structures and our rules. We might think that our mission is clear and straightforward. We might be comfortable with our churches the way they are. But God might have other ideas. God might send people into our churches who look, act, and think differently. God might call leaders with new ideas and new ways of doing things. We might see these people in our pews or hear them in our meetings and want to tune them out. But today’s text reminds us that Jesus didn’t tune people out. Even when Jesus was skeptical about people, he gave them a chance. He listened to them, and he was open to being changed. We need to do the same.

In just a few minutes, we’re going to celebrate Communion, like we do every Sunday. In some churches, people have to believe specific things or go through certain rituals to participate in Communion. But our church is different. Our Communion table is open to anyone who wants to come. It doesn’t matter who you are, where you’re from, or what you have done or believed in the past. If you want to come to our table today, you are welcome. And we don’t leave anyone to gather crumbs under our table. At our table, everyone gets to pull up a chair, settle in, and feast on the abundance that God has given us. This is truly good news, and it should set the tone for everything else we do and say as Christians. 

As we go about our mission and our lives, we should strive to be open to whomever God puts in front of us. We should listen to the words that come out of their mouths, and give them a chance to show what is in their hearts. And we should take care that what comes out of our mouths reflects the grace and love that we take in every week around this blessed table. 

Amen.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Double Dog.

This past Sunday, the day after my first long run in a long time (see previous post), I did my second run of the Annapolis Striders' Dog Days XC 8K. I ran this race last year with my former roommate Katie. Afterward, we spent several hours helping some friends move. All in all, an exhausting day.

This year, I continued the trend of doubling up on the exausting activities. In order to practice our bike-to-run transition, Marie and I went for a 45-minute bike ride before the race. Our bike ride was not very hard, but the combo of the previous day's run, the bike ride, and the race was brutal. I love running cross-country, but I did not enjoy a second of this race. The first half was total misery. By the halfway point, I had stopped caring about my time and I took a long walk break at a water stop. Fortunately, Marie and one of her friends caught up with me at that stop. Joining up with them gave me the motivation to run again and some distraction for the second half of the race. I wound up finishing in 52:42, a decent improvement over last year's 55:24. I'm pretty sure I could have done better had I not been so exhausted, but that's the way it goes.

Speaking of bikes, tonight I finally attached some toe clips to my pedals. When I started tri-training, I had intended to get clipless pedals, but I never came up with the money for the pedals nor the time to practice with them. Instead, I picked up a pair of $7 toe clips with straps at REI, and- with a lot of help from the internet- attached them to my own pedals. Once they were attached, I got up on the bike and promptly learned that getting into the clips is not easy. On the advice of a tri-training book, I practiced on my grass so that I would have a soft landing if I fell. It took a good hour before I could get into the clips fairly consistently. Once I sort of had the hang of it, I rode up the street to an empty parking lot... and learned that the tip about practicing on grass is really bad advice. Yes, I would have a soft landing if I fell off the bike. However, getting in and out of the clips on a bumpy surface is a million times harder than doing it on pavement. I would have saved at least 30 minutes by skipping straight to the parking lot. Another lesson learned. Sometimes I think tri training is as much a mental workout at a physical one!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Cramming.


The above photo aptly captures my entire educational and professional life before my ADHD diagnosis. Back then, I simply could not focus on any assignment or task until the night before, or- more often- the night after it was due. Then, I would work in a frantic haze of misery until I collapsed onto my (usually sub-par) product. It was not a fun way to live. I never could have done something as complex and preparation-heavy as a marathon or triathlon in those days because I completely lacked the ability to plan ahead and do the necessary groundwork.

Several years into ADHD treatment, things are much better, but I still do more cramming than I would like. Nowadays, when I sit down the night before a sermon, paper, or work assignment is due, the task before me is not impossible because I have done a good bit of the groundwork. Still, there is a certain level of concentration I'm able to achieve only in the face of a looming deadline. I often think about how much easier life would be if I could summon even a little of that focus before the last minute. 

I've been thinking about this a lot this week, because I'm coming down to the wire on my tri-training (2 weeks to go!) and getting close to it on my marathon training (90 days!). I signed up for Iron Girl on November 1st, and started studying tri training plans almost immediately. I started swimming in January, bought my bike in March, and worked with the Wonder Women from April-June. So, I've had plenty of time and resources, and yet I never achieved the consistency in training I knew I needed... That is, until last week when the Iron Girl dress rehearsal scared the heck out of me (see previous post).

Since struggling through those swim and run courses last weekend, I have attacked my training with a vigor I wish I had found earlier this summer. I've been swimming every other day, doing bike-to-run workouts, and I even got my friend Marie to take me out on the actual bike course. I'm pretty sure I sweated out my whole body weight twice over in the last seven days alone. At this point, I'm sure I'll make it through the event, but I hope that I can summon this concentration a little earlier next year so that I can set a higher goal than mere survival.

My marathon training had gone off course a little in the past few weeks as well, mainly due to some other weekend commitments. This Saturday, I joined the Striders' marathon training group for the first time since early July. We were scheduled to run 16 miles, but I knew I wasn't ready for that, so I did 12 instead. Normally, we meet at a park and run on the B&A trail as a group, but I've been experimenting with a slightly different plan. In order to lessen the boredom of running for so long on the trail, train for the hillier NYC course, and prepare myself for running a marathon on my own, I've started running to the long runs from my house. This knocks 7 miles off my time with the group (3.5 to get there, 3.5 to get home), adds several hills to the route, and means that I do a little more than half of each long run by myself. Thus far, I think this is a good strategy for me, but it is challenging- particularly the final 3.5 miles when I have to motivate myself to get back home!

Let the countdowns begin!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Sink or...?

Its August 2nd, which means my first triathlon, Iron Girl Columbia, is officially less than 3 weeks away. I've known for awhile that my training is not where it needs to be, and I got an excellent reminder of that this past Saturday. Iron Girl stands out from other sprint tris in a few ways, and this weekend highlighted two of them:

(1) It is longer than most sprint-distance events. According to Triathlon Training for Dummies (which I have indeed read), most sprint tris consist of a .5 mile swim, a 12-16 mile bike ride, and a 3.1 mile run. Iron Girl, however, is a .62 mile swim, a 17.5 mile bike ride, and a 3.3 mile run. Those sound like tiny differences, but they are actually quite significant when (a) they involve sports that are totally new to me, and (b) the course itself is very challenging.

(2) Iron Girl offers a free "dress rehearsal" to all entrants: a chance to practice en masse on the actual swim and bike courses. That's what happened this past Saturday, and I am so grateful that I participated!

Prior to Saturday, I had done two open-water swims as part of my tri training group. I did not know the distance we covered in either, nor did I know how that distance compared to the Iron Girl swim. Now I know: the Iron Girl swim is much, much longer. .62 miles is a LONG way when you are not a very strong swimmer. I really struggled with the swim; in fact, it joins a very short list of athletic endeavors where I really was not sure I could finish. The only thing that got me through was the backstroke. In my recent pool workouts, I have been working on my breast stroke and backstroke, so that I can use them when I need to rest during the tri. This turned out to be a very good idea, because I probably backstroked 50% of the practice swim. You may be wondering how I did this without running into anyone. Answer: I didn't. I had a few minor collisions and one bigger one, in which another swimmer (accidentally) punched me in the jaw and then dragged her nail down my neck. I happened to be speaking at a church that evening, so it was a little unfortunate that I looked like I had been in a fight.

This swim definitely put some fear into me. I really need to step up my swimming over the next 2 1/2 weeks because I do not want to rely so heavily on the backstroke in the actual event. It was hard enough to avoid other swimmers at the practice; I know it will be even harder in the actual event (which is much bigger).

After I finished the swim, my friend Marie and I decided to try the run course. I think we both set out with a mindset of "Its only 3.3 miles, how hard can it be?" Answer: hard. The run course is very hilly, and hilly in what I would call a "Baltimore-esque" way: it seems to have much more uphill than downhill. Marie and I both struggled through the course at a 10:35 pace, which is definitely slower than either of our usual 5K paces. I can only imagine how the run will feel after both the swim and the bike!

Later this week, I'm going to meet Marie again to try out the bike course. I'm imagine that this will also be a fear-inducing experience, but if fear makes me work harder for the next 19 days, then I welcome it!