I must never work from home (Weight Watchers update #3)

Happy New Year's Eve! I hope you are all having fun. This afternoon, I joined an impressive crowd at Fleet Feet Sports in Annapolis for a 5K fun run called "Last Run of the Year." Tomorrow, I'll be doing my first run of the year, aka: day 1 of the Annapolis Striders' 2011 half-marathon training. In between, I'm supposed to be working on a sermon for Sunday. Instead, I just cooked a big (and delicious) meal of steak, mashed potatoes, and a spinach salad with a homemade bacon vinaigrette dressing. And, of course, I uncorked a bottle of pinot noir purchased over the summer, because you can't eat steak without red wine!

This dinner highlights a little problem I have noticed this holiday season. Allow me to lay it out for you: I am super-duper busy, leaving little time for my hobbies. Thus, when I have time off, I like to spend lots of it engaging in those hobbies. One of my favorite hobbies is cooking. Thus, when I have time off, I cook (and therefore eat) like its going out of style.

Today, as on several mornings over this holiday season, I made a favorite holiday breakfast of french toast with cranberry sauce. Fortunately, I'm out of champagne, so I didn't drink a mimosa with it, but I did that on three other occasions this holiday season. For lunch, I took leftover rice from Chinese takeout, some leftover veggies from shepherd's pie, and a leftover orange-glazed pork chop from Christmas Eve, and made orange-y pork fried rice. Then, for dinner, I had the aforementioned steak feast. That's just today. At 11 tonight, I'm going to put a chicken in some brining liquid I made so that I can try Thomas Keller's fried chicken recipe for lunch tomorrow. There's still another steak in the fridge too...

Thankfully, I also like going to the gym more often when I have extra time, so I've put in several extra hours of exercise in between all this eating. Thus, I only gained 1 pound over Christmas week and I'm hoping to at least break even this week. Also, my New Year's resolution is to get my food budget under control. If all goes well, this should have the side-benefit of reigning in my cooking frenzies just a little bit.

If there's one thing I've learned from all of this, its that I probably shouldn't work from home. Ever. I sometime dream about setting up a counseling office in my house, seeing a few clients a day, and spending the rest of my time writing. Its a nice idea, but I think its better for me if I'm separated from the kitchen at least 40 hours a week. Maybe I could install some kind of timer-lock...

Happy New Year!

My bonus decade.

Seatbelts: lifesaving and fashionable!

This morning, there was an accident along my usual route to work, so I had to take a detour. That detour took me through the intersection where, 11 years ago today, my life very nearly ended. Around 4:30 in the afternoon on December 30, 1999, I was heading home from a winter-break job (I was a college junior at the time), and I did something my father had made me promise not to do. Dad is a mechanic and tow truck driver, so he knows very well where accidents happen, and he had told me that the on-ramp to Rt. 50 from Rowe Blvd. is a particularly dangerous intersection. Most days, I took his advice and took a longer route home. On this day, though, I guess I was in a hurry to start the holiday weekend.

I remember waiting through a couple of red lights to get onto the on-ramp. I remember that the Meat Loaf song "I would do anything for love (but I won't do that)" was on the radio, and I was laughing about it. I remember being one of the first people in line to get a green light and start driving up onto the ramp, and I also remember seeing a car approaching the red light in the other direction pretty quickly. After that, the next thing I remember is somebody outside the door of my car asking me for an emergency number, dialing the service station where my parents both work, and holding up the phone so I could talk to my Dad. The next couple hours are a blur. I remember laying on the ground outside my car, talking to both my parents when they arrived, riding in an ambulance, and then riding in another ambulance and hearing that I was headed to Shock Trauma in Baltimore. At that point, I was sure I was going to die (when you hear "Shock Trauma" on the news, its never good), and I thought I needed to confess to my mother every bad thing I had ever done that she didn't know about. Thankfully, an oxygen mask prevented me from acting on that idea!

Over the course of the next few days, I learned what had happened. The driver I had seen approaching the red light had not seen the light at all and gone straight through it without slowing down (the speed limit on that road is 45 and he was going at least that fast). The angle of the on-ramp had caused us to collide head-on, and sent my car spinning at least 100 feet down the road. (Miraculously, I didn't hit anything else!) The other driver had an airbag and walked away from the scene. I was in a much older car without an airbag, so I got hurt pretty badly. I had a broken nose, a major cut on my eyelid (it was almost cut in half), a concussion, bruises and burns to my chest from the seatbelt, and a banged-up kneecap. I was lucky that I was in a big, old sedan because the impact totally crushed the front of my car but stopped just short of the dashboard. If I had not been wearing a seatbelt, I definitely would have been thrown from the car and killed (wear your seatbelts, people!).

I was sent to Shock Trauma because I was so disoriented that the doctors at the local hospital thought I might have a brain injury. I spent a little over 12 hours there, getting examined and stiched up. The latter was not fun at all, but I couldn't complain because the people on either side of me each had multiple gun shot wounds. I went home early the morning of the 31st, and spent the next three weeks going back to Baltimore every other day for follow-ups and surgery to fix my nose and eyelid. (Also not fun. To this day, I am baffled by people who have elective facial surgery.)

I had to stay on the couch pretty much all day during this time, so my brother brought over one of the original Game Boys (ca. 1989) to keep me busy. It had exactly two games, which I played 8-10 hours a day. By two weeks in, I was so good at Tetris that my games could easily stretch to a couple hours and I often stopped just because I was bored. (In case you were wondering, the highest level on the old Tetris is 30. Beyond that, the blocks can't go any faster, but you can make lines forever.)

I was horror-struck at the idea of not graduating on time, so I actually returned to college in Pennsylvania when the new semester began. This was a horrible idea; I had a terrible semester where I got depressed and really sick. Knowing what I know now about trauma, I can't believe I went back so soon, but at the time my parents would have had to lock me in my room to keep me home.   

Eleven years later, my body is almost totally healed. Thanks to an amazing surgeon and the plasticity of facial skin, I only have a small scar left on my eyelid (I can see it, but most people can't). My nose looks fine, but my sinuses are a little wacky. Fortunately, there are good medicines for that these days. I still have some trouble with the knee that got injured, but nothing that prevents me from doing what I want to do (like running marathons). As far as I know, I have no lasting damage from the concussion, though my memories from the accident have never come back. The seatbelt burns and bruises were shockingly painful, but they healed after a few weeks.

Mentally and emotionally, there are definitely some lasting effects, both positive and negative. Fortunately, I never developed a phobia about driving, but I have a very high awareness of the risks involved. I am not one of those people who gets in the car and doesn't think about the possibility of an accident; I think about it every time. For the most part, though, I think that's a good thing. For a couple years after the accident, I could not watch TV shows or movies that took place in ERs because it reminded me too much of being in Shock Trauma. That went away eventually, but I still hate reading or seeing anything involving a car accident- those darn "safe happens" commercials Volkswagon used to run totally gave me nightmares. I also dislike the portion of my counseling classes where we talk about the effects of trauma. Its a very important subject, and a particular interest of mine, but it always brings up difficult emotions and memories. I am still remarkably good at Tetris.

More than anything, I'm really happy to still be here. 2000-2010 feels like a "bonus decade": 10 years I very easily could have missed. There's not enough time or space to list everything I would have missed in those 10 (or 11, really) years, but here are some big ones: graduating from college, having my first real job working with kids, being a Sunday School teacher, having some writing published, giving my grandmother's eulogy, buying my house, going to/graduating from Yale, seeing my siblings get married, preaching at my niece's baptism, becoming a counselor, running a marathon. Most importantly, I would never had met many of my great friends or two of my nieces and nephews. The nieces and nephews alone make for a great decade!

I am also infinitely grateful that Meat Loaf was not the last music I ever heard.

So, buckle up, watch for red lights, listen to your Dad, and be thankful for the time you have because you never know what might happen. I'm looking forward to the next bonus decade!

Be your own Santa.

I don't usually get much for Christmas, for good reason: my parents (who would be my primary source of presents) are pretty much paying for the degree I've been working on the past three years. Most of my family is solidly working-class anyway, so big-ticket gift items have never really been part of my Christmases. Going into this Christmas, I wasn't expecting much. I asked everybody that buys me presents for the same two things: passes to the indoor pool and gift cards to Bike Doctor, both for triathlon training purposes. I was hoping that a few people would go the Bike Doctor route, giving me enough money to finally buy some cycling shoes.

Things didn't really work out that way. My mom thinks I have no business taking up new sports which requre new equipment, so she wasn't about to contribute to that. She did tell an aunt to get me the pool passes, but that aunt refused, saying that the pool in question isn't clean enough (she actually bought me soap instead). Another relative never got to the pool, but did buy me towels, which are really nice. I got gift cards to Barnes and Noble, Trader Joe's, Giant, Dunkin' Donuts, and Noodles and Company, but nothing bike-related. Fortunately, I did get some cash, which allowed me to take matters into my own hands this afternoon.

Just as I don't get a whole lot for Christmas, I also don't do much shopping, for pretty much the same reason: if I don't have money to pay my tuition, I don't have money to buy things. Also, I dislike crowds and loathe the mall. Thus, my disposable income usually goes to food, running stuff, and downloading books on my Kindle. I can't remember the last time I actually spent several hours going to several stores, only buying things for myself. Its rare enough that it merits a blog post! Here's the rundown:

The shopping actually started a few days ago, on 12/23. That night, I was up in my attic struggling to make my niece's Christmas present on my garage-sale 1970's sewing machine: 

I have been teaching myself to sew on this machine for awhile now, with the idea that I would master the basics on it before I upgrade to something better. It worked fine for last year's homemade gifts. This year, though, something just wasn't right. The thread tension got out of whack and I simply could not fix it. After hours of work, I did not have one passable seam. So, at 8:30 the night of the 23rd, I did what I swore I would not do: went to the mall. Shockingly, I found parking right up front and the stores were not too crowded. I picked up a super-basic Singer machine for $80 and was home by 9:30. Problem solved. The new machine has no frills, and I'll probably want an upgrade eventually, but going from a 70's machine to one made this year is definitely a big and exciting improvement. I finished my niece's present easily and have been working on a couple extra projects just for fun.

Now, on to this afternoon, or shopping day 2: My first stop was B&N, where I hoped to use my gift card to buy calenders. Unfortunately, all the good ones were already gone. I was about to leave and save the gift card for another day when I spotted something on a 50% off table: 

That's a gift set of Thomas Keller cookbooks: The French Laundry and Ad Hoc at Home. I've picked up these books many times before, but always put them back down due to cost and impracticality. The French Laundry is way beyond my skill level and would just be a "food porn" coffee table book. Ad Hoc at Home is more manageable, but still expensive: $50 at B&N, $31 on Amazon. This set has both books, and the discount plus my Mom's store membership brought it down to $45. Knock off another $25 with the gift card and I got both the food porn and the one I can actually use for $20. Score.

Next, I headed over to Bike Doctor, where I pooled all my cash and finally bought the cycle shoes. (I was so excited about them that I took an unplanned extra spin class this evening just to test them out). While I was there, I also took a quick look at bikes, and was pleased to see many more in my price range than I had expected. Come Spring, I hope to visit them again.

After Bike Doctor, I used the grocery store gift cards. This would probably not be exciting to most people, but I love to cook and I deliberately bought things I would not buy normally: steaks, fancy coffee, a couple whole chickens to freeze, things like that.

Finally, I headed over to the mall to continue my calendar search. It was a NIGHTMARE- way more crowded today than it had been the night of the 23rd! It was probably a good last stop because it reminded me why I don't usually like to shop and should keep me from going back anytime soon. I did find the calendars I wanted, though, and I got to pick up some dinner with the Noodles and Company card.

So, now I am at home, surrounded by new things, and (even better) not crippled with guilt for spending too much money. Thanks, do-it-yourself-Santa!

Christmas lesson: some jokes never get old.

Tonight, my church had our annual service of lessons and carols. Pastor Dave, our senior pastor, always invites me to be one of the readers. After Pastor Dave finished reading one of the lessons, the congregation started singing a Christmas hymn and he sat down next to me, where we had the following exchange:

Pastor Dave: There's a big wet spot on my seat. I have no idea where it came from.

Pastor Dave and Alicia (in unison): I didn't do it.

Alicia: Jinx!

At this point, Pastor Dave and I dissolved into a good 90 seconds of uncontrolled, shaking, tears-in-our eyes laughter. My mom assured me that it was visible from the back pew of the crowded church, where she was sitting.

Alicia: Get it together, Dave, you have to impress the visitors.

Best wishes for a joyful holiday!

Ambition is your enemy: ADHD and Christmas



FYI- This photo is the first thing that comes up if you do a Google image search for "stressed out Santa."

 My friend Kate Milford, author of one of the best books of 2010 (are you listening, awards people?) also happens to write a very entertaining blog at her website, The Clockwork Foundry. Today, she posted about having trouble getting things done at Christmas and I read with many chuckles of recognition. Kate and I  recently reconnected via Facebook and learned that we both take medicine for ADHD. I've been on mine since 2003; Kate only started this year. Its been great talking to her about it because- while I'm sure we exist in large numbers- I've only met a few other smart, creative, accomplished women who also have this problem.

If you have ADHD, Christmas is a total minefield. Its the perfect meeting place for two of the hallmarks of ADHD: wild ambition and extremely poor follow-through. As the season approaches, all of the thoughts bouncing around in my head turn to cards I should send, cookies I should bake, elaborate gifts I should make by hand, parties I should host, etc.. My imagination and ambition go crazy. Then comes the poor follow-through: I don't even start these projects until December 15th, when there's no way I could possibly finish even one or two in time, then I get depressed about it and wind up just sitting around the house re-reading the entire Harry Potter series for the 23rd time. In the end, I buy half-assed gifts at the mall on Christmas Eve for immediate family only and feel bad about myself.

At least that's how is used to be. I'm happy to report that, 7 years into ADHD treatment, I have learned a few things which make Christmas (and life in general) more manageable. I can pretty much distill what I have learned into two main principles:

1. Ambition is your enemy. If you have ADHD, you must reserve your wild ambition for only the most vitally important areas of your life: vocation and relationships. Everywhere else, ambition must be managed. At all costs, you must not take on more than you can actually accomplish.

2. Work with your brain, not against it. The ADHD brain vacillates between two states of being: totally unfocused and all over the place, and hyper-focused on one thing to the exclusion of everything else. There is no changing this, but you can learn to use it to your advantage. During the unfocused times, you can multi-task. During the tunnel-vision times, you can bang out big projects.

Here's how this works for me in several areas of Christmas preparation:

Presents (general): I used to just buy presents hap-hazardly whenever I saw something that seemed to suit someone and then inventory them around December 23rd. This always ended the same way: I would realize that I had spent a ton of money on random gifts for fairly peripheral people in my life and that I had nothing at all for, say, my Mom. Commence crazy Christmas Eve shopping with the credit card. A couple years ago, I cut the list to just my parents, my siblings, my nieces and nephews, and my significant other (if applicable). So much more manageable! Then, I took the additional steps of making a list and buying as much as possible online. This year, I was done before Thanksgiving.

Presents (handmade): This is always an awful temptation for me. I like to make things, so I'll get it in my head that I'm going to handmake everyone's gift. When I have tried this, it has almost always resulted in the Christmas Eve mad shopping dash described above. So, I have learned to limit the number of handmade gifts (I did about 5 last year; I'm doing 2 this year). Also, I only make things that I have successfully made before. So, no attempts to jump from the beginner section of the sewing book to the advanced section on Dec. 20th.

Cards: I also limit quantity here and I don't even entertain the thought of making them. This year, I bought cards but never got around to writing or sending them, so I'm dropping the whole idea and moving on. This is tough to do, but totally necessary if I want to finish everything else. (That could be another principle: Only move forward. No going back!)

Baking: This is what I do for everyone who doesn't get a present. As with the handmade gifts, I keep it simple: a limited number of recipes I know really well. That way, I can come home from work and churn out a batch of cookies without even thinking about it. Sometimes, I wish that I made fancy assortments of cookies like some of my friends, but realistically, I would never get that done. If I tried to make 5 kinds of cookies, I would finish 0.

Decorating: This is a place where I take advantage of the tunnel-vision. I find a day where I can tell my brain wants to hyper-focus and do it all on that day. Once started, decorating must be completed on the same day. No exceptions, or I'll have boxes of ornaments sitting half-opened in the living room in January (it has happened).

Timing: Everything is started early (October or November) and I do my best to work with my brain. So, if I'm feeling unfocused, that's a good day to make cookies while writing cards and mailing packages. If I'm feeling super-focused, that's a day to make the handmade gifts. If I start soon enough, there will be enough of each kind of day to get everything done. 

So, that's my advice. I hope its helpful to those of you who also have ADHD, as well as you "normal" people. No matter what, you have to cut yourself some slack because its not always going to work. Case in point: Earlier today, I got a little overwheled by all of the things on my to-do list. The next thing I knew, I woke up on the couch after an unplanned 2-hour nap, staring down the remains of a lunch of Chinese food and champagne. Then, I turned on the computer, saw Kate's post, and knew I wasn't alone. Merry Christmas!

You know you went to seminary when...

...you and a friend you haven't seen in months spend half her holiday party coming up with heretical tag lines for her 30th birthday, which happens to be falling on Good Friday. Examples:

"It is finished: Julia's 20's."

"I thirst... somebody buy me a beer."

"Julia, remember me when you come into your 30's."

"Today you will be with me in paradise: Julia's 30th birthday party."

"Turning 30: sometimes it causes me to tremble, tremble, tremble."

And, for the post-party hangover: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

Come on seminary friends- there must be more! The comments section is yours!

Cardio vs. Christmas cookies: Weight Watchers update #2

This morning was weigh-in #3 since the Weight Watchers changeover and I am down another pound! I think this is the first time in two years that I've actually lost three weeks in a row. For awhile now, I've been in a pattern of lose one pound, lose another pound, then gain three. This new system really works!

The fact that I lost at all this week is a Christmas miracle, because I've entered the portion of the holidays which I like to call "cookie sweatshop." Its time to put together all of my recession-Christmas homemade gifts, and most of those are baked goods. Not only do I have zero willpower around said baked goods, I won't let myself give anything away without tasting it first. (Once, I made a beautiful cheesecake for Thanksgiving, only to cut the first slice and realize that I forgot the sugar- lesson learned!)

In the past, cookie sweatshop week was a total free-for-all in terms of eating and I just dealt with the consequences in January. This year, under the new WW regimen, I've been able to approach it in a slightly more sane manner. I think the new system is a bit more flexible- mainly because I have more free points and activity points to work with. Also, knowing that I'm tracking everything helps me stop after the first or second cookie. Finally, I've really cranked up the cardio to help balance things out- I've added an extra spin class to my weekly schedule and I've done a couple of longer races over the past few weeks. Last week, I earned 60 activity points, which is the equivalent of more than two days' food for me. Looking at that total, I couldn't decide which was the more impressive feat- that I did enough exercise to earn those points, or that I ate every single one of them and then some!

Okay, I'm off to bake another batch of cookies and go to bed early. Thursday is 6am boot camp day, and the last two weeks have been so hard that I very nearly cried. Its easier to be tough on a full night's sleep! Goodnight!

Year in review: 2010

A former boyfriend of mine was obsessive about tracking all of his running stats. He had this crazy spreadsheet that only he could understand in which he tracked every mile of the zillion or so he ran each year. He was obsessive about other stats too. All around his apartment, I would find handwritten lists of every movie he watched, every book he read, and season stats for all of his favorite soccer teams.

I'm not that meticulous, but I do keep a calendar of my workouts and a spreadsheet of my races. Thanks to that spreadsheet, I can now present a brief retrospective of the races I ran in 2010. Prior to this year, I had run five races in my entire life: two 5Ks in 2007 (with the aforementioned boyfriend); and a 5K, 5-miler, and 15K in 2009. In 2010, I registered for a total of 21 races and ran 18. Here they are, month by month:

January: 

Montgomery County Road Runners' New Year's Day 5k, 1/1/10, 31:45. MCRR hosts some very scenic races, but this was not one of them. Basically, we ran around an industrial park twice. It was fun, though, because Katie came and we had a very tasty brunch afterward.

February:

I was supposed to run the Annapolis Striders' Valentines's Day 5K (1st leg of the Champ Series) on 2/13/10. Instead, we had record-breaking snow, the race was cancelled, and I completed a marathon of shoveling.

March: 

The B&A Half-Marathon, 3/7/10, 2:24:05. My first (and fastest) half-marathon, and my first race with Val. It would have been faster if I hadn't tried my hand at making coffee ice cream the night before, resulting in at least 3 bathroom stops along the course.  

April:

MCRR's Difficult Run XC 8K, 4/3/10, 1:04:16. This was my first-ever cross-country race and they weren't kidding about the difficulty. The photo above does not do justice to the initial hill, which the race organizers described as "like climbing a wall," and took at least 10 minutes to scramble up. It was a 2-loop course, so we ascended that hill twice. Despite the difficulty, this was a really fun race.

AS Cherry Pit 10-miler, 4/11/10, 1:49:08 (2nd leg of the Champ Series). This was my first (and fastest) 10-mile race. I remember being hungry by about mile 4 and spending the remaining 6 miles dreaming about bagels.

May:

Arbutus Spring Fling 5K, 5/1/10, 30:22. Val organized this first-time race (which was great), and there was a little course-marking problem which resulted in a bunch of people running some extra distance and me winding up in 2nd place for my age group. This was the first race I ever blogged about!

June:

Zooma Annapolis 10K, 6/6/10, 1:12:23. This was my first (and slowest) 10K race. It was hot, crowded, and disorganized. Misery from start to finish! This also happened to be the first full day of my 31st year. I'm happy to say things have improved since then.

AS Father's Day 10K, 6/20/10, 1:07:18 (3rd leg of the Champ Series). This was way better than Zooma, but still hot and hard. Val and I both look miserable in all of the photos.

July:

I was supposed to run the AS Women's Distance Festival 5K on 7/10/10, but instead I fell on a trail run and twisted my ankle. My sister did the race though- her first- through pouring rain!

AS John Wall 1-mile, 7/17/10, 8:27 (4th leg of the Champ Series). I was very happy that my ankle recovered and I was able to run this. I placed myself in the 8:30-9:30 heat based on the only mile-run time I could remember, a 9-minute mile run in 9th grade PE. I think that I could have done better, and hope to prove it next year!

MCRR Riley's Rumble Half-Marathon, 7/25/10, 2:45:00. That time is approximate because it was so hot (well over 100 degrees), that MCRR downgraded this from a race to a "fun run." FYI: there is nothing fun about trying to run 13.1 miles when the heat index is 110.

August:

AS Dog Days XC 8K, 8/1/10, 55:24 (5th leg of the Champ Series). This race was so much easier than the MCRR XC race! Later that day, Katie and I had the best meal of my life at Volt in Frederick and my friends Nancy and Jessie got engaged. Yay!

I was supposed to run my very first Annapolis 10-miler on 8/29/10, but my appendix had other plans. Next year!

September:

MCRR's Parks Half-Marathon, 9/12/10, 2:35:13. This is my favorite picture of myself running, mainly because it was taken 16 days after my appendectomy. Take that, appendix!

October:

AS Metric Marathon (26.2K), 10/3/10, 3:10:13 (6th leg of the Champ Series). I was really sick the day of this race. The rural scenery was beautiful, but all I could focus on was not throwing up on a cow.

Baltimore Half-Marathon, 10/16/10, 2:26:32. This was the first race post-appendectomy where I really felt back to normal, and I loved it. I was super-excited to come within 2 minutes of my B&A time, because this course was hilly as hell and B&A was almost totally flat.

Marine Corps Marathon, 10/31/10, 6:10:03. I am much more proud of the $3376 Katie C. and I raised for the Kelly Murray Scholarship Fund than I am of this finish time, but whatever. It was my first, and there was that whole losing-an-organ problem to contend with. I'm going to hope I won't have that problem when I train for the next one (you hear that, tonsils? gall bladder?).

November:

AS Down's Park 5-miler, 11/6/10, 51:58 (7th leg of the Champ Series). This race was awesome. The park was beautiful and it felt like a 50-yard dash after the marathon.

AS Cold Turkey 10K, 11/21/10, 1:04:26. I had some knee trouble starting around mile 4 of this one, but its still my best 10K time.

MCRR Turkey Burnoff 10-miler, 11/27/10, 1:54:39. I lost a good 5-10 minutes in this race trying to find a bathroom that wasn't locked. It was also windy and COLD. Beautiful park, though.

December:

AS Anniverary 15K, 12/12/10, 1:44:30 (8th leg of the Champ Series). I wrote all about this race yesterday, so there's not much to say here. This one was very exciting because it secured me an Ironman award for running the whole 2010 Champ Series.

Fin. My 2011 running year starts January 1 with the first day of Striders' half-marathon training, round two. I'm hoping to get a little faster in 2011- maybe make it to the front of the back, or even the back of the middle! I'll keep you posted.

I'm an Iron(wo)man: the 2010 Annapolis Striders' Anniversary 15K

This is the face of abject misery:

That's me, last December, at the 2009 Annapolis Striders' Anniversary 15K, aka: one of the worst mornings of my life. Flush with my success at my first 5-mile race in November '09 (see my 11/9/10 and 11/28/10 posts for that story), I decided that I wanted to try a 10K (6.2 miles). I looked around, and found two options happening on the same day in December: a 10K in DC that started at 8am and cost $35, and the Striders' 15K that started 5 minutes from my house at 10am and cost $5. Despite the extra distance, the answer seemed obvious. I told myself that I would just walk when I got too tired to run.

It seemed like a decent plan, but I turned out to be unprepared in many ways. I woke up on the morning of the race to freezing rain. Owning no technical clothing at that time, I put on capri pants, a cotton hoodie, and a fleece jacket. No hat, no gloves, nothing covering my ankles. Within 10 minutes, I was soaked and freezing, and there was water inside my shoes. Within 20 minutes, all of my cotton clothing had doubled in weight and I had to take my glasses off because they were fogging so badly. I was totally unprepared for the conditions, and I also had no idea how to pace myself. Instead of mixing walking and running from the beginning, I just ran until I could not possibly run anymore (a little over 6 miles) and then I started walking. By that point, I was so tired that even walking was a challenge. Somewhere around mile 7, I seriously considered just sitting by the side of the road and waiting to be rescued. Had it not been raining, I probably would have done just that.

By the time I reached mile 8 of the '09 race, I hadn't seen anyone else in awhile and thought I might actually be in last place. Then, I passed a volunteer at the bottom of a hill (I strongly suspect it was my future coach Susan) who said "This is your last time up this hill and there are people behind you!" I kept going. When I hit mile 9, I remember spending the last .3 miles thinking about everything I had been through in the previous year and a half: a soul-crushing breakup, being laid off, intense clinical intern work, and then another breakup. It was definitely one of those moments where the race became about way more than running. I knew that, through running, I was finally digging myself out of my hole.

I finished that race in 1 hour, 53 minutes and came in 240 out of 246 runners. I went home, took a bath, and slept all afternoon. When I woke up, I cooked a big meal and thought about the fact that I needed help if I was going to learn how to run longer distances without killing myself. That's when I went on the Striders' website and learned about the half-marathon training, which would ultimately make me a better runner and also introduce me to Susan, Val, and a ton of other great people. So, as miserable as that 15K was, it was worth it for where it got me.

Today, I did the Anniversary 15K under much different circumstances. One year later, I came back having done four half-marathons, a full marathon, and all of the other races in this year's Annapolis Striders' Champ Series. There was still an overcast sky and some rain, but it wasn't freezing, so I wasn't complaining! All in all, this year's race was easy and fun. I ran the first 4.5 miles with my friend Casey from the marathon training group, and then pulled away and ran the second half on my own. Somewhere around mile 8, I remembered how all of the tough events of '08 and '09 had flashed before my eyes during last year's race. I'm very grateful for how much I've grown as a runner over the last year, but even more so for how much happier and more at peace I feel. Of course, the two are not unrelated.

I crossed this year's finish line at 1 hour, 44 minutes- 9 minutes faster than last year. When I finished, I also secured my Ironman award for finishing all of this year's Champ Series races. Now, I'm looking forward to 2011!

Weight Watchers update: So far, so good.

Image from the awesome Natalie Dee- http://www.toothpastefordinner.com/.

I learned a couple of things when I posted about Weight Watchers last week:

1) At least 25% of the people I know have done WW at some time. Maybe 50%.

2) People who do WW like to talk about WW. I had more interest in that blog post than anything I wrote about the marathon. 

Armed with this knowledge, I thought I would give an update on how I'm doing with the new WW:

I'm doing well! The changeover happened in the middle of one of my WW weeks, so I've weighed in twice since then, even though its only been about 10 days. Thus far, I'm down 2 pounds, which is better than I was doing under the old system. Granted,  a big part of this success is due to the fact that, in order to learn the new system, I have been tracking Points and measuring portions diligently. I should have been doing that before, but I wasn't. (Note: tracking and measuring works.)

Still, I think the new system deserves some credit. The new practice of incentivizing healthier foods (like fruit) by making them 0 Points and penalizing unhealthy foods (like alcohol) by raising the Points is definitely pushing me to make healthier choices. I haven't had any alcohol since the changeover; before, I probably would have had some wine with dinner at least twice in 10 days. I've also had more fruits and veggies in the last 10 days than in the month prior. In fact, my new solution to everything is "have a banana." Here's how that sounds in my head:

"I would like some wine with dinner... Maybe I'll have a banana."

"A soft pretzel sounds like a good idea.... but I think I'll have a banana."

"I could definitely eat all of those cookies I'm baking for Christmas. Time for a banana!"

I'm sure you get the idea.

So, thus far, two thumbs up to the new Weight Watchers. I'll continue to keep you posted. How is everyone else doing?

Bring a friend.



This is my friend Ana and I at my 30th birthday party in 2009. The two of us have done some crazy things together over the years, and this Saturday we added one more thing to that list. A few weeks ago, Ana mentioned that she wanted to get back into an exercise routine and asked if she could accompany me to a class at my gym. I was happy to oblige, and so was the gym, which gave her a couple of guest passes.

My crazy early-morning weekday classes don't fit Ana's schedule, so we decided to meet on a Saturday. Since neither of us would have to rush off to work, I suggested that we make the most of Ana's guest pass and do two classes back-to-back: spinnning followed by Group Power. This is a really tough combo, even for a regular exerciser, and Ana hadn't worked out in about 3 years. I never would have suggested it if Ana weren't a landscape architect, who gets plenty of physical activity as part of her job. Still, as the day grew closer, I got a little worried that I was suggesting too much. I had Ana over Friday night to go through all of the GP exercises, and I lost track of the number of times I told her to take it easy, particularly in the first hour, so that she would have enough stamina to get through everything.

Bright and early Saturday morning, Ana and I headed for our first class at the spin studio. I told her about my own first spin class, during which I never got the gear above 7 and could only stand up for 10 seconds at a time. An hour after that class, I still had such bad jelly-legs that I fell off the bottom step of my parents' front porch. Ana did much better. I could tell she was struggling, but she pushed herself and even got the gear to 14! Afterward, she told me that she kept thinking "I'm going to start eating better because I would rather diet than do this."

We left spin a few minutes early so that we could stretch and get a good spot in GP. When we arrived at the GP room, we learned that the regular instructor was out, meaning that we had a sub who planned to do a different routine than our current release. This meant that a good bit of what I had shown Ana the night before no longer applied. It also meant that I would be a bit lost myself and have a lot less available brain power to help Ana. D'oh! Ana, to her credit, rolled with it. She even took it in stride when the slightly overzealous sub tried to push her to increase her weights and used her to demo proper form for the rest of the class.

By the end of our two hours of insanity, I was swelling with pride for my friend. She really did an amazing job and I hope she got the kickstart that she wanted!

And while we're on the subject of birthdays and bringing friends- I launched a little campaign yesterday to recruit friends for a race/wine-tasting weekend to celebrate my 32nd birthday in June. As many of you know, I really love celebrating my birthday (see above) and I put a lot of time and effort into each year's event. Last year, I organized things around the Zooma women's 10K and half-marathon in Annapolis, and I wasn't so thrilled with the results. By the time I learned about the event, it was really too late for any but my more experienced running friends to train for it. Also, the race itself was crowded, a bit disorganized, and so hot that many of the half-marathoners dropped to the 10K and many other runners dropped to the ground and had to be rescued. This year's Zooma race is on my birthday (June 5th), so I thought about doing it again, but really hoped to find a better option.

Enter the January Runner's World, which arrived in my mailbox Saturday. While flipping through, I saw an ad for the inaugural Virginia Wine Country Half-Marathon, happening on June 4th in Loudon County, VA. I quickly checked out the website (http://www.run4virginiawine.com/) and realized that I had my birthday plans. This is a weekend-long event, including stops at four different wineries: a pre-race dinner on Friday at Bluemont Vineyards, the race on Saturday which starts at Breaux Vineyards and finishes at Doukenie Winery, and a finisher's party and wine-tasting Saturday evening at Tarara Winery. When they register, runners are able to buy extra dinner and tasting tickets for family and friends.

I am already signed up and I hope that some of you will join me! The race is limited to 2,200, so I encourage you to sign up soon. Also, committing to the race really helps you commit to training. You have 6 months, which is plenty of time train for a half, even for beginners. Please share this info with your friends and family too- the more the merrier!    

My favorite things, part 2: the new Weight Watchers

As many who read this blog already know, I've been a member of Weight Watchers off and on since October 2003. Prior to joining WW, my weight had fluctuated for years, and I only had the vaguest notions as to why. Starting in the 8th grade, I lost and gained a decent amount of weight at least three times, and it always felt like it just happened. I knew some things that I was doing right, and some things that I was doing wrong, but I really could not have told you why my weight changed when it did. This meant that I had no idea how to replicate the weight losses, nor how to prevent the weight gains.

For me, WW was a revelation. At the time I joined, I thought I weighed, at most, 165lbs. At my first meeting, I learned that I actually weighed 177lbs. Oops. I'm not sure if this was the heaviest I have ever been because I never paid much attention to the scale before WW. In fact, as I soon learned, I had never paid much attention to anything regarding food, weight, or exercise before. Obviously, I knew that eating a banana was better than eating a cookie, and that going for a walk was better than watching TV. Beyond that, though, I really didn't have a clue.

When I joined WW, the program used the Points system. Under that plan, all foods were assigned a Points value based on calories, fat, and fiber. Essentially, the Points values came from calories, with penalties for fat and rewards for fiber. Exercise was measured in Points too, with a formula based on your weight, the duration of the activity, and your level of effort. Every day, you tracked your Points like a checkbook. You had a balance at the beginning of the day (based on your age, weight, and activity level), and then you deducted points when you ate and added them back when you exercised. As part of the program, you got tools to manually figure out Points for food and exercise, or you could pay extra for books and/or an online program that listed Points for various supermarket foods and restaurant meals.

By the end of my first week doing WW, I had a pretty solid idea of why I had gained weight. In the beginning, my daily Points balance was somewhere around 24. When I added up the Points for my 3-4 times/week Dunkin Donuts breakfast (bagel with lowfat cream cheese, OJ, and coffee with cream), it came out to 18. Baja Fresh, which was one of my favorite restaurants at the time, did not have a single menu item under 25 points. Even when I was eating healthier foods, my portions were 2-3 times bigger than they needed to be. I also realized that exercise, which I had always used as a free pass to eat whatever I wanted, could only do so much. A 60-minute spin class, which is some pretty serious exercise, would only cover the bagel portion of that DD breakfast.

Losing weight with WW the first time felt easy. I had so many bad habits when I started that simply eliminating those was enough to make me drop weight quickly. I started October 1st and had lost 40 pounds by late May. At that time, I relied heavily on frozen entrees and other diet convenience foods. I also tracked my Points religiously and exercised semi-regularly.

I managed to maintain that initial weight loss for close to three years. Weight started to creep back on when I stopped paying attention to things like portion sizes, got more into cooking, and ate out more often. Then, came the Dark Days of late '07- mid '08 when my life was a total mess and all of my energy was focused on just getting through the day. By the time I emerged from that, I had gained back at least 15 pounds and it was time to head back to good 'ol WW.

I've been trying to get back on the WW bandwagon off and on for a couple of years now, with limited success. Most of the problem has been me- my crazy schedule and lack of willingness to think about one more thing. However, the second time around, I've had some gripes with the Points system. For the past few years, I've been trying to remove most processed foods from my diet. This includes things like WW frozen entrees, fat-free "cheese," and artificial sweeteners. Without those convenience foods, I have found it much harder to stay within my daily Points range without feeling ravenous all the time. Also, having a Points system based mainly on calories meant that fresh, healthy foods (like bananas) sometimes had more Points than super-processed diet foods (like 100-calorie pack cookies).

This is where the new Weight Watchers comes in. Starting this past Monday, WW rolled out a totally revamped Points system. The process is still the same- you track Points for food and exercise, aiming to stay within a daily target- but the way the Points are calculated is totally different. Now, the formula is based on protein, fat, fiber, and carbs. Also, the new formula generally favors healthy, whole foods. For example, most fresh fruit now has 0 Points. Before, fruit was often high in Points because its natural sugars make it high in calories. Whole grain carbs are also lower in points now, especially compared to refined carbs. In the past, the difference was negligible. More fruit and more whole grains is great news for me, because I love those things anyway.

There are some tougher changes, too. For example, the Points value of alcohol is now way higher than before. Also, having to re-learn Points is a challenge. Over the course of 7 years, I had memorized the Points for pretty much everything I eat regularly. I had also developed the ability to "guesstimate" Points pretty closely just by looking at a food's calorie count, and I knew the right Points-range for a meal pretty instinctively (ie: 6-10 for dinner). Now, I have to unlearn all of that and learn a new system. How many Points for my morning protein bar? Used to be 4, now its 5. Is 5 a lot for breakfast under my new Points budget? I'm still figuring that out. Finally, many of the WW materials I had amassed over the years are now useless. Earlier this week, I recycled all of my old Points guides and forked over about $15 for new materials (on top of my montly charge for using the online program). To the credit of WW, they put all of the new materials on mega-sale (50-75% off), so buying them wasn't as painful as I had expected.

Even with the challenges, I can't complain too much about the new system. Its not like I didn't know that drinking alcohol is bad for weight loss. Now, I'll be even more careful about that. Also, I was long overdue for a reassessment of my go-to foods, recipes, and portion sizes. Being mindful about those things is what helped me lose the first time, and I had not been doing a great job of that lately. Finally, the new fruit rule is worth all of the other changes to me. I already went to the grocery store for a purely fruit-buying trip and I am enjoying eating my bananas and pineapple with reckless abandon.

So, on the whole, I think the new Weight Watchers is probably an improved Weight Watchers. I would encourage anyone who wants to lose some weight or just eat healthier to check it out. One caveat is that I highly recommend going to meetings for at least a few weeks, as opposed to just doing the online program. I used to go to meetings, but I am online-only right now because of my schedule. The online materials are a great supplement to meetings, but I think that the introductory materials they give out at meetings are much easier to follow. Also, I am really missing having a meeting leader to explain these changes to me.

I'll keep you posted on how I do with the new programs! WW friends, I would love to hear from you too!