So, this is something I only have in books now.
This past Wednesday night, I came home from work and made one of my favorite dinners: gnocchi with homemade pesto cream sauce and fresh green beans. The basil and spinach I used for the pesto were a little past their prime, but they looked okay and tasted fine, so I thought I was okay. After dinner, I went to the gym for Group Power and a short run. It felt way harder than usual and I wasn't feeling so hot, but I chalked it up to being overfed. I went home intending to get a few things done before a very busy Thursday, but wound up going almost straight to bed.
At about 3am Thursday morning, I woke up to horrible abdominal cramping and nausea. My first thought was that the pesto was bad, and I cursed myself for making a double-batch. I took some Advil and managed to fall back asleep. When the alarm went off at 5:30am for boot camp, the nausea was gone, but the cramping was still there. At that point, I thought I might have re-pulled my abdominal muscle at the gym. I decided to skip boot camp and go into work a little late. I went to work around 1pm and immediately knew I had made a mistake because I felt awful. I felt so awful that I actually bailed on my last night of counseling at the Wendt Center- something I had not even considered that morning. I postponed my counseling appointments, made sure payroll was done at the office, and went home.
Thursday night, I talked to my mom about my symptoms and spent a great deal of time with my favorite doctor, Google (see previous post). My symptoms sounded a little like food poisoning, a little like a hernia, and a little like appendicitis, but not a lot like any of those. All I had was a dull pain and some fatigue. No nausea, no loss of appetite, no fever, and my belly wasn't tender to the touch. I considered going to the ER Thursday evening, but decided to wait one more night and see what happened.
Friday morning, I woke up to no change, so I called the doctor. He was able to take me right away, so I headed in at 9:30am. Apparently, doctors don't mess around with possible appendicitis. I 've never been seen so quickly before. I literally did not have time to sign in before they took me back. The doctor did a quick exam and sent me over to the ER just in case. He thought I probably had something fairly mild, like a UTI, but wanted to rule out appendicitis.
So, off to the ER I went. I had just signed in and taken a number when I ran into two friends from my church, one escorting the other who had terrible nausea. I felt awful for the sick person, because she looked terrible, but I was very touched to see her being escorted by a non-related church member. Its always great to see church people caring for one another like we should! The escort immediately took me under his wing as well, and sat with me while I waited and got my tests done.
At the ER, I spent several hours undergoing testing. I had to have a CT scan, which meant spending two hours drinking nausea-inducing contrast fluid while also being filled with IV contrast fluid. The big downside of this was that I had eaten nothing but a cereal bar all day and couldn't eat or drink in case it turned out I needed surgery. Being hungry did nothing for my pain or my nausea. The upside was my first experience with IV-delivered pain and nausea meds: that stuff works! I got the scan around 4pm and was told I would have to wait an hour for the results. By 4:30, though, a doctor came and told me I had acute appendicitis and would have to have my appendix removed ASAP.
By this time, my mom had come to join me. This was great because I've only had surgery once before and it definitely makes me nervous. I met my surgeon around 5pm and she put me right at ease: warm, laid-back, funny, and totally understanding about the fact that my first questions were about whether I could run my marathon on Oct. 31. The answer to that question is maybe; the surgeon thinks I can ease back to the gym in about a week and see how things go from there. So, there's a chance, which was a big relief to hear.
I had to wait a couple hours for an OR to be open, but once the surgeon got a room, the actual procedure was very fast. They gave me some valium at 7:30pm right before they wheeled me in to the OR. Thanks to the quick delivery via the IV, I hit the OR just loopy enough to speak my first thought aloud: "This looks like the morgue. I used to work there." They knocked me out after that.
I woke up in recovery sooner than anyone expected, feeling a little sore, but otherwise okay. By the time I got up to my room, I could walk around with fairly minimal assistance. I made it through the night with only one dose of pain meds and no real trouble except the after-effects of a catheter used during the surgery (yikes!). In the morning, I was able to eat some solid food and the surgeon told me I looked good and could head home. I was leaving the hospital by 10:30am.
So, now I'm home and doing pretty well. I have a pain prescription, but haven't needed it, and I was even feeling well enough to cook myself dinner. I am very dissapointed about not running my first A10 tomorrow or hosting my Jock Jams party. My buddies from a former job have been running the A10 every year since 2001 and this is the first year I've been fit enough to join them. Its a big milestone for me and I hate missing it. Still, I can't complain. I caught this thing before it got really bad and I'm so grateful for the fact that I'm fit enough to recover quickly. I am also very grateful for everyone who has called, texted, and emailed over the past two days! I hope to see you out on the roads again soon. Finally, I'm grateful that neither pesto nor Group Power was the culprit in this illness, because I couldn't imagine my life without them.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
The internet is my doctor.
As long as I can remember, my mom has been an advocate of medical books, ie: random books on health and medicine purchased from the B&N clearance rack which she believes qualify her to diagnose and treat any ailment. She inherited this from my grandmother, who had little formal education but read voraciously and considered herself a self-taught PhD in pretty much everything. If you mention any symptom or discomfort in front of my mother, she will immediately reach for one of her trusted books, scan the index, and dispense her expert advice.
I've made a lot of fun of "Dr. Mom" over the years, but the truth is that I'm a total hypocrite. I don't have a shelf full of medical books myself, but I do have the internet. When I have aches and pains, do I call my family doctor? No! I simply consult "Dr. Google." Lately, this has become an almost-daily habit. We're just about halfway through our training now and it seems like something hurts pretty much all the time.
As I mentioned a couple days ago, we're scaling back our long runs for the next two weeks in preparation for the A10 next weekend and our first 20-miler the week after. With the easier weekend runs comes more intense training during the week. For me, it seems that more intense weekday training also means more aches and pains.
Last week, I started off pretty well. Katie and I pushed it and did spinning and Group Power back-to-back on Monday. This resulted in a lazy Tuesday (see my 8/17 post), but I felt back to normal by Wednesday. Wednesday's Group Power was no problem, and I felt great during boot camp on Thursday. The operative word here is during.
For Thursday's class, we followed our usual pattern of running from the gym to downtown, stopping at several scenic locations to do drills. This week it was a series of medicine ball exercises, including jumping jacks, squats, plyometrics, and lunges with twists. Usually, during boot camp, I'm too focused on not throwing up to enjoy the beautiful views at places like the McNasby's pier:
Well, its a good thing I didn't act on that feeling, because by Friday morning, I couldn't feel my quads. I'm not sure which exercise did me in (I suspect the lunges), but the stiffness and pain lasted well into the weekend. It made for a challenging "easy" 12 miles on Saturday.
I took it extra-easy and went to bed early Saturday and Sunday, and felt back to normal this morning... until Group Power. Again, I'm not sure what did me in, but by the time I got to work this morning, my left calf was swollen and as tight as last year's jeans. So, I spent a little time this morning with Dr. Google. His advice is pretty consistent: rest, ice, compression, elevation, and stretching.
So, if you look for me this afternoon, you'll find me in my office with my feet up, popping Advil and sneaking off to the bathroom to stretch every half hour or so. Doctor's orders.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Aloha, roommate!
This is Katie and Miles, who were my roommates from last July until just a few hours ago. Katie is currently en route to Hawaii, where she will continue working as a vet. After a brief quarantine period, Miles will follow Katie to Hawaii, where I imagine that he will chase parrots and eat out of a coconut.
In the spring of '09, Katie responded to a Craigslist ad about renting a room in my house. She was living in Massachusetts at the time, and we didn't actually meet until she moved in. I wasn't sure how we would get along. She seemed nice enough, but I noticed that she included sporting equipment among the "bare essentials" she was bringing with her to Maryland. At that time, I didn't do anything more athletic than walk my (then) boyfriend's dog. I also spent most of my time either at work or at said boyfriend's house and didn't think I would have any time to bond with a new roommate. I imagined that our few interactions would go something like this:
K: Do you want to come play soccer?
A: No, thanks. Do you want to spend the day on the couch watching "Lost" DVDs?
K: No, thanks.
Katie moved in one night in early July. Just a few days later, my boyfriend came over and abruptly announced that we were through. (And by "abruptly," I mean that he told me he had decided I wasn't right for him just that morning and there was no need to discuss it further.) He packed up the dog and left me to be a complete wreck in front of someone I barely knew. Awkward. Katie, to her credit, was very nice but also seemed to realize that I'm not someone who likes to go to pieces in front of new people and gave me plenty of space.
After a couple weeks of crying, I decided that I needed an outlet for my newly acquired free time and negative energy. So, after years of saying that I should really join the gym in my neighborhood, I joined the gym in my neighborhood. Katie, being the athlete that she is, was super-supportive of this plan. She even went with me to my first-ever spin class and pretended not to notice how much I was struggling.
Thus began 13 months of bonding over athletics, cooking, crazy work schedules, and even crazier relatives. For me, this past year could have been all about stress, loneliness, and depression. Katie really helped me go in a more positive direction. She's a very mellow, positive person, at least in part because she makes getting out and moving every day a priority. She's been an amazingly good influence on me and I'll always be grateful for that. I can honestly say that the time I've had with her was much better spent than it would have been with that boyfriend. Katie is one of the many great people who, whether they realize it or not, will be helping me get across the finish line on October 31st.
So, Aloha Katie and Miles!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Walking, I've missed you.
For the next two weeks of our training plan, we are scaling back the Saturday long runs. This means that we are stepping up the weekday mileage, otherwise known as my weakness. If things had gone according to plan yesterday, I would have done my usual Group Power class at 6am, followed by a treadmill run.
But things didn't go according to plan. I was working from home yesterday morning, which meant that, if I skipped the gym, I could have a little extra time to sleep. Apparently, after Saturday's 18-miler and Sunday's preaching double-header, my body wanted that sleep. The alarm went off at 5:30, and I think my whole body laughed. I turned off the alarm and slept until 9.
So, when I got home from work, I knew I needed to do the evening GP class and also maybe get a run in. Katie was around and able to go to with me, so we opted to maximize her final guest pass at my gym and do spinning immediately followed by GP. That's an intense 2 hours. After that, we hit Mexican Cafe, an Annapolis locals' favorite, known for crazily strong margaritas. Maybe not the wisest choice late at night, but I couldn't let Katie end her time in Annapolis without going there at least once.
This morning, the plan was to hit Quiet Waters park for a fairly challenging morning run. Katie and I actually managed to get up close to on time, which I thought was pretty impressive. When we got to the park, though, I think we were both feeling the cumulative effect of spinning + Group Power + super-strong margarita. We gave the running a valiant effort, but quickly downgraded to a walk.
About halfway through the park, I realized that I can't remember the last time I actually went for a walk on purpose. Nowadays, when I walk, its generally because I can't possibly run another second. It took awhile to shut off the guilty voice in my head that was screaming "You should be running!", but once I did, it was nice to actually slow down and enjoy the scenery while breathing normally for a change.
So, walking, I'm sorry I forgot just how pleasant you can be!
But things didn't go according to plan. I was working from home yesterday morning, which meant that, if I skipped the gym, I could have a little extra time to sleep. Apparently, after Saturday's 18-miler and Sunday's preaching double-header, my body wanted that sleep. The alarm went off at 5:30, and I think my whole body laughed. I turned off the alarm and slept until 9.
So, when I got home from work, I knew I needed to do the evening GP class and also maybe get a run in. Katie was around and able to go to with me, so we opted to maximize her final guest pass at my gym and do spinning immediately followed by GP. That's an intense 2 hours. After that, we hit Mexican Cafe, an Annapolis locals' favorite, known for crazily strong margaritas. Maybe not the wisest choice late at night, but I couldn't let Katie end her time in Annapolis without going there at least once.
This morning, the plan was to hit Quiet Waters park for a fairly challenging morning run. Katie and I actually managed to get up close to on time, which I thought was pretty impressive. When we got to the park, though, I think we were both feeling the cumulative effect of spinning + Group Power + super-strong margarita. We gave the running a valiant effort, but quickly downgraded to a walk.
About halfway through the park, I realized that I can't remember the last time I actually went for a walk on purpose. Nowadays, when I walk, its generally because I can't possibly run another second. It took awhile to shut off the guilty voice in my head that was screaming "You should be running!", but once I did, it was nice to actually slow down and enjoy the scenery while breathing normally for a change.
So, walking, I'm sorry I forgot just how pleasant you can be!
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Roll on 18-miler!
That title is adapted from a 1984 song by country super-group Alabama (see above). They got a lot of play on country radio in the 1980's, which means that I spent a decent chunk of my childhood singing that insanely catchy song in my parents' station wagon. I think its been stuck in my head for the past 26 years, but I never had a real use for it... until today!*
This morning, Val and I did our first 18-mile run with the Annapolis Striders. It wasn't easy, but it felt way better than last week's 16-miler. I can think of three major reasons for this improvement: (1) I finally stopped mourning the demise of my beloved Nike Vomero 4+ shoes (which have been discontinued) and went to the running store for new shoes. (2) By running with Katie (my faster roommate) and the boot camp class this week, I actually got in two challenging shorter runs, as opposed to the two half-assed ones I do when I train alone. (3) The weather was beautiful this morning, as opposed to stiflingly hot and humid.
So, what do I mean by "way better" than last week? Basically, that the second half of the run was slightly more bearable. Val and I have reached a point where the first 9-10 miles actually feel pretty easy, which is awesome. Once we get between 12 and 15, though, we both seem to hit the proverbial wall. We run out of gas, everything starts to get stiff and sore, and the final miles are torture. I'm starting to realize that, while I do a great job hydrating, I don't bring enough food one my longer runs. So, I'm going to start adding more and see if that helps. I'm also going to try to get better about pushing myself in the mid-week runs, because it makes a clear difference when I do.
For the next two weeks, we taper down a bit, and then we hit a solid few weeks of 18 and 20-milers before we do our final taper down to marathon day! Exciting and terrifying!
*If you also grew up listening to 80's country radio and now have that song stuck in your own head, all I can say is... you're welcome!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Jock Jam Annapolis! (and some updates)
Katie and I have a little under 12 weeks left to fundraise, so its time to get creative! Katie has started a great Facebook initiative with different slogans for every day: $10 Tuesday, Whatever You Can Wednesday, and $5 Friday, just to name a few. We are working with the lovely people at Loyola to plan Fall email blasts and a pre-race pasta dinner. And on Sunday, August 29th, I will be hosting Jock Jam Annapolis, the first of two theme parties (to be followed by Jock Jam Baltimore). If you read this blog, you are almost certainly a friend of mine or Katie's. Therefore, you are invited! Here are the details:
Date: Sunday, August 29th
Time: 2pm-7pm (drop in anytime)
Location: My house in the Eastport neighborhood of Annapolis (contact me for the address)
Suggested Donation: $5-$10. Donations of food or drinks are also appreciated.
Dress: Wear your favorite athletic clothes- bonus points for retro (see above).
What You Get: Athletic-themed food and drinks (think "Jock-amole"); totally optional (but fun) games; jock jams; fun people. Fellow runners who are doing the A10 that morning will get comfy chairs and cold drinks.
I hope you can come (and bring friends!). Email me at aliciakimbrooks@gmail.com if you need further info.
Now, on to updates!
My pulled ab muscle seems to (finally) be getting better. I've cautiously done some ab moves in Group Power this week and haven't felt anything rip. I think I'm going to go back to boot camp tomorrow (aka: where I think I got hurt in the first place), take it easy, and see how it goes.
Last Saturday, Val and I did our first-ever 16-mile run with the Striders. We were blessed with vastly improved weather and felt great for the first 10-11 miles. After that, it got hard fast. There were a lot of walking and stretching breaks in miles 12-14, and then we picked it up again at 15 because we both wanted to be done. All in all, it went fairly well, but I am definitely feeling wary of the 18-miler we're scheduled for this coming Saturday.
After the Saturday run, I had to rush home and get ready to drive to NJ, where I was scheduled to speak at a Catholic church on behalf of the St. Vincent Pallotti Center (aka: my day job). Traffic was a nightmare, so even though I left an extra 90 minutes, I was still late for my first mass at 5pm. Around 4:15 (when I already knew I was going to be late), I decided that I absolutely had to make a rest stop. Thank goodness I did! After being stuck in the same position for 4+ hours, my legs were not happy. When I got out of the car, I could barely walk. Fortunately, a brief walk around the rest stop got rid of some of the stiffness and I was able to walk to the pulpit when I arrived at the church. Lesson: if you can avoid it, do not drive a long distance right after a long run!
Speaking of my NJ trip, I was hosted by a lovely and gracious group of priests. After the Saturday mass, the senior pastor invited me to join him as he took his newly-ordained associate priest out for a birthday dinner, along with another new priest from a neighboring parish and priest #2's visiting sister. We went to a very upscale Italian restaurant where the priest ordered us a decadent dinner accompanied by a lot of excellent wine. From my Methodist point of view, its always surprising to see a pastor drinking and entertaining in such a lavish way. Still, it was touching to see how the senior pastor cared for the younger priests. He also knew every waiter in the restaurant by name and asked about their families and recent developments in their lives. Spending time with him reminded me of spending time with my own pastor, Dave. While Pastor Dave prefers the local diner to 5-star restaurants, he also seems to know and care about every person he meets in our community. I know its not easy to go out into the world as a clergy person; when you wear a clerical collar, you get a lot of attention (both wanted and unwanted). Its awesome to see clergy members taking that challenge as an opportunity and truly reaching out to the people around them.
That's all for now! I'm sure I'll have plenty to share after the 18-miler...
Friday, August 6, 2010
Great friends doing great work, part 2 (and some updates)
As I have mentioned here before, my awesome friend Kate Milford recently realized her life-long dream of being a published author. This would be exciting in and of itself, but its even more exciting because (a) her book, The Boneshaker, is amazing, and (b) lots of important people in the children's literature world have noticed that it is amazing. In fact, there are many blogs and websites out there, writtten by people who know what they are talking about, predicting that Kate will be nominated for awards like the Newberry Medal and the National Book Award for young adults.
Recently, these predictions caught the attention of a Massachusetts 6th grader named Emma. Emma and her mom run a book club for her friends every summer (how cool is that?), and this summer they decided to focus on books honored by Newberry. They chose to include Kate's book because they "know it is a contender" for this year's award. Recently, Emma saw that Kate was making some public appearances in New Hampshire and sent her an email to ask if she might consider visiting MA for the book club meeting. Kate got the email the day before the meeting, when she was already on her way back to her home in NYC. So what did she do? She turned around the very next day and drove to MA.
You can read about what happened next in Kate's blog post . Needless to say, she made a whole group of 6th grade girls very happy and had an amazing experience in the process. This story made me so happy. As someone who spent the entirety of my childhood with my nose stuck in a book, I can barely imagine how giddy I would have been if the author of one of my favorite books had come over to my house. Heck, that would make me giddy today. Good work, Kate!
Now, a few updates on what this blog is actually supposed to be about:
Training continues, and is getting back to semi-normal after several weeks interrupted by injuries and other committments. I re-joined the Annapolis Striders training group last Saturday after being away for three weeks. We ran 14 miles, which is the longest I've ever run. It felt pretty good, especially because we had reduced heat and a relatively flat course. I'm still not feeling as strong as I would like to at this point, but compared to the heat and hills of the Riley's Rumble course (see July 26th), just about anything else feels easy. Tomorrow, we go for 16 miles!
Thanks to my recent trip to NJ, I was away from the gym and took a week off from all of my usual cross training. I thought that this was enough to get over the pulled muscle in my lower abdominals. By the time I returned to Group Power this Monday, I hadn't felt any pain in that muscle for a few days. Everything went well for the first 50 minutes of the 60 minute class. Then, we hit the abs track. About halfway through, I literally felt the muscle rip back open. So, its back to square one on that injury. I'm still doing some of my cross-training, but I have to sit out anything that involves the lower abs. Frustrating.
Speaking of the gym, today is the anniversary of the day I joined! Its amazing to look back on everything I've accomplished since signing that contract a year ago. Prior to joining Annnapolis Athletic Club, I was always an inconsistent exerciser. I had run off and on for years, done a few races, and belonged to a few other gyms that I visited with varying degrees of consistency. In that past year, I have exercised a mininum of four times a week every single week. I ran my first 5-miler, 10K, 15K, 10-miler, and half-marathon. I haven't lost an ounce (in fact, I've gained a few pounds), but I feel the most healthy and fit I've ever felt, I've made new friends, and I've found all sorts of new healthy activities that I actually enjoy. So, hooray for me and AAC!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Great friends doing great work, part 1: a weird start to vacation.
If you read this regularly, you know that I love to brag about my many great friends who are doing amazing things in their professional and personal lives. A little over a week ago, I had a very unusual opportunity to see one of them in action:
As I mentioned a couple posts ago, my roommate Katie, a veterinaran, recently invited me to join her and her family for their annual beach vacation in New Jersey. We planned to leave on Sunday, July 25th, after I completed a hot, hilly half-marathon (see my July 26th post). The race started very early, very far from Annapolis, so I spent the night of the 24th with some friends who live closer to the race start. That evening, Katie called me and said she needed to discuss a potential snag in our plans: an elderly relative had just called and asked her to make a veterinary house call on her way to the beach. The relative had decided that it was time to euthanize her very sick 14 year-old dog and hoped that Katie would do it for her. So, Katie was put in the unenviable position of asking me if I would be okay with stopping to put a dog down on the way to the beach.
I'll admit that the idea made me nervous. I spent the past year interning at a grief counseling center, and I even did a weekly stint helping people through the identification process at the DC Medical Examiner's, so I'm used to being around grieving people and people in crisis. Still, I see people after a death has happened; I'm not there when it happens. Also, I'm a big animal-lover and former dog-owner who has been lucky enough not to have to euthanize any of my animals. Watching a dog be put to sleep is not an experience I was eager to have. Finally, I wondered about the family- would they really want a stranger present during such a difficult, intimate event? Despite these reservations, I told Katie it would be fine. I trusted her judgement regarding her family's feelings and figured it couldn't hurt to have someone with my experience along for this event.
You can read my July 26th post for the gory details of that Sunday's race. By the time I got home, I was beyond exhausted and still a little light-headed from the heat. I desperately wanted to go to sleep, but I didn't have time. So, I fought through a delierium-level mental fog to shower and pack (badly) for the beach. On the drive to Katie's relative's home, I was only half awake and barely lucid. Katie entertained me by telling me about her trip to the animal hospital that morning to pick up a euthanasia kit. She ran into a few colleagues, who saw the kit and asked why she needed it. Her reply: "Family vacation."
When we arrived, I nervously shook myself awake and prepared to meet her family. As soon as we stepped out of the car, most of my worries evaporated. Everything about Katie's relative's home reminded me of my own relatives: the remote, working class town; the small, cramped houses; the yards full of decorations and old pick-up trucks; even the NRA bumper stickers on the cars. We went into the house and were immediately greeted by Katie's elderly relative and her dog. She hugged both of us with tears in her eyes and ushered us into the living room, where three other relatives had gathered to help with the process. All of them greeted me as if we were old friends and immediately made room for me around the pile of blankets that had been arranged for the dog.
While Katie made preparations, they told us a bit about the dog and her special relationship with her owner. Katie's relative had adopted the dog just after her husband died, and the dog had given her comfort and companionship as she adjusted to living on her own. The dog had been treated for cancer a few years ago and recovered, only to get sick again later. Knowing that her beloved dog was in pain, Katie's relative had opted not to treat the cancer again, but to "bring her home and spoil her" instead. Throughout this conversation, Katie offered empathic/validating statements recognizing the depth of the relationship and acknowledging how hard it had been for her relative to make the decision to euthanize. She instinctually used all of the skills I was taught during my time at the Medical Examiner's: she made eye contact, expressed sympathy, acknowledged relationships, explained the process slowly and clearly, and made sure the family was ready before doing anything. I kept thinking how lucky her family was to have her help during this process, and also how much of a blessing she must be to all of the families she serves in her work.
The actual event was quick and peaceful, with everyone gathered around to offer comfort to both the dog and her owner. Just as I always did at the Medical Examiner's, I felt really privileged to be with the family during such a special moment. Afterward, the family wrapped the dog in blankets and took her outside, where another relative was waiting with a coffin he had built for the dog. He explained that he was a great dog-lover and had not wanted to be there when the dog was put to sleep, but he made the coffin as a way of paying his respects. It was beautiful- obviously made with a lot of love. After the dog was laid inside, he sealed it with what he (repeatedly) told us was "the best caulk you can buy." I couldn't help but smile, thinking of all of the men in my family (including my dad) who express their feelings by building and fixing things.
The family had decided to bury the dog at another relative's house in the same neighborhood. So, we all got into our cars and made a little funeral procession down the street. When we got there, we learned that another male relative had already dug a perfectly-sized hole in a peaceful spot in the backyard. We all gathered around the hole and the men lowered the coffin, taking care to position it so the dog would always face her family's home. As they filled in the hole, the dog's owner and other family members shared their memories and thoughts about whether they would meet the dog again in heaven. Despite the somberness of the occassion, there was a lot of laughter, particularly when someone mentioned that thunderstorms were predicted that night and the maker of the coffin held up the caulk gun and reassured the dog's owner that the seal on the coffin was water-tight.
When the burial was complete, Katie and I got ready to go. The family hugged us both and thanked us for being there. I gave my well-practiced "grieving older lady speech" to the dog's owner, gently reminding her to be easy on herself and let her family care for her for awhile. She promised that she would try, though I could tell she was far more accustomed to caring for others. We said a final round of goodbyes, then got in the car, feeling like we had just experienced a combination of a Faulkner novel and an episode of "This American Life." After a couple silent minutes, we had the following exchange:
Alicia: Wow.
Katie: Thanks for helping with that, buddy.
Alicia: No problem. Wierdest start of vacation ever.
Katie: Yep. Let's go to the beach!
As I mentioned a couple posts ago, my roommate Katie, a veterinaran, recently invited me to join her and her family for their annual beach vacation in New Jersey. We planned to leave on Sunday, July 25th, after I completed a hot, hilly half-marathon (see my July 26th post). The race started very early, very far from Annapolis, so I spent the night of the 24th with some friends who live closer to the race start. That evening, Katie called me and said she needed to discuss a potential snag in our plans: an elderly relative had just called and asked her to make a veterinary house call on her way to the beach. The relative had decided that it was time to euthanize her very sick 14 year-old dog and hoped that Katie would do it for her. So, Katie was put in the unenviable position of asking me if I would be okay with stopping to put a dog down on the way to the beach.
I'll admit that the idea made me nervous. I spent the past year interning at a grief counseling center, and I even did a weekly stint helping people through the identification process at the DC Medical Examiner's, so I'm used to being around grieving people and people in crisis. Still, I see people after a death has happened; I'm not there when it happens. Also, I'm a big animal-lover and former dog-owner who has been lucky enough not to have to euthanize any of my animals. Watching a dog be put to sleep is not an experience I was eager to have. Finally, I wondered about the family- would they really want a stranger present during such a difficult, intimate event? Despite these reservations, I told Katie it would be fine. I trusted her judgement regarding her family's feelings and figured it couldn't hurt to have someone with my experience along for this event.
You can read my July 26th post for the gory details of that Sunday's race. By the time I got home, I was beyond exhausted and still a little light-headed from the heat. I desperately wanted to go to sleep, but I didn't have time. So, I fought through a delierium-level mental fog to shower and pack (badly) for the beach. On the drive to Katie's relative's home, I was only half awake and barely lucid. Katie entertained me by telling me about her trip to the animal hospital that morning to pick up a euthanasia kit. She ran into a few colleagues, who saw the kit and asked why she needed it. Her reply: "Family vacation."
When we arrived, I nervously shook myself awake and prepared to meet her family. As soon as we stepped out of the car, most of my worries evaporated. Everything about Katie's relative's home reminded me of my own relatives: the remote, working class town; the small, cramped houses; the yards full of decorations and old pick-up trucks; even the NRA bumper stickers on the cars. We went into the house and were immediately greeted by Katie's elderly relative and her dog. She hugged both of us with tears in her eyes and ushered us into the living room, where three other relatives had gathered to help with the process. All of them greeted me as if we were old friends and immediately made room for me around the pile of blankets that had been arranged for the dog.
While Katie made preparations, they told us a bit about the dog and her special relationship with her owner. Katie's relative had adopted the dog just after her husband died, and the dog had given her comfort and companionship as she adjusted to living on her own. The dog had been treated for cancer a few years ago and recovered, only to get sick again later. Knowing that her beloved dog was in pain, Katie's relative had opted not to treat the cancer again, but to "bring her home and spoil her" instead. Throughout this conversation, Katie offered empathic/validating statements recognizing the depth of the relationship and acknowledging how hard it had been for her relative to make the decision to euthanize. She instinctually used all of the skills I was taught during my time at the Medical Examiner's: she made eye contact, expressed sympathy, acknowledged relationships, explained the process slowly and clearly, and made sure the family was ready before doing anything. I kept thinking how lucky her family was to have her help during this process, and also how much of a blessing she must be to all of the families she serves in her work.
The actual event was quick and peaceful, with everyone gathered around to offer comfort to both the dog and her owner. Just as I always did at the Medical Examiner's, I felt really privileged to be with the family during such a special moment. Afterward, the family wrapped the dog in blankets and took her outside, where another relative was waiting with a coffin he had built for the dog. He explained that he was a great dog-lover and had not wanted to be there when the dog was put to sleep, but he made the coffin as a way of paying his respects. It was beautiful- obviously made with a lot of love. After the dog was laid inside, he sealed it with what he (repeatedly) told us was "the best caulk you can buy." I couldn't help but smile, thinking of all of the men in my family (including my dad) who express their feelings by building and fixing things.
The family had decided to bury the dog at another relative's house in the same neighborhood. So, we all got into our cars and made a little funeral procession down the street. When we got there, we learned that another male relative had already dug a perfectly-sized hole in a peaceful spot in the backyard. We all gathered around the hole and the men lowered the coffin, taking care to position it so the dog would always face her family's home. As they filled in the hole, the dog's owner and other family members shared their memories and thoughts about whether they would meet the dog again in heaven. Despite the somberness of the occassion, there was a lot of laughter, particularly when someone mentioned that thunderstorms were predicted that night and the maker of the coffin held up the caulk gun and reassured the dog's owner that the seal on the coffin was water-tight.
When the burial was complete, Katie and I got ready to go. The family hugged us both and thanked us for being there. I gave my well-practiced "grieving older lady speech" to the dog's owner, gently reminding her to be easy on herself and let her family care for her for awhile. She promised that she would try, though I could tell she was far more accustomed to caring for others. We said a final round of goodbyes, then got in the car, feeling like we had just experienced a combination of a Faulkner novel and an episode of "This American Life." After a couple silent minutes, we had the following exchange:
Alicia: Wow.
Katie: Thanks for helping with that, buddy.
Alicia: No problem. Wierdest start of vacation ever.
Katie: Yep. Let's go to the beach!
Monday, August 2, 2010
Dogs and hogs.
Yesterday was a very full, great day! It started with the Annapolis Striders' Dog Days 8K (4.96-mile) trail race up at AACC in Arnold. I've run on trails a few times before, including one other trail race- the Montgomery County Road Runners' Difficult Cross Country 8K- which happened back in April. That race was entirely on trails, including lots of rocks, tree roots, and downed trees. It also included two climbs up a hill which they (accurately) described as "like climbing a wall." You can see me at the bottom of that hill here:
MCRR wasn't kidding about that race being difficult (though it was fun too). I finished it in an hour and 12 minutes. The Dog Days, on the other hand, was only partially on trails, and the trails themselves were much flatter and free from major obstacles. Even after running 14 miles the day before, I was able to finish the race in 55 minutes. My roommate Katie and running buddy Val ran the race too. Katie's a pro at trail running, but Val had never done a trail race before and she did really well!
After the race, Katie and I headed up to Baltimore, where we helped two good friends move into an amazing new house. Then, we did a quick change and made a long-awaited trip to Frederick to eat at Volt restaurant. Volt has been around for a few years, but I (along with most of the world) only learned about it last fall, when chef/owner Bryan Voltaggio was the runner-up on Top Chef Las Vegas. I've been looking for an excuse to go ever since, and finally got one when Katie accepted a new job in Hawaii. Given the amount of time we've spent running, cooking and eating together, it seemed appropriate to celebrate Katie's moving on with a race and a trip to a great restaurant.
I had really high expectations for Volt, and I was definitely not dissapointed. The restaurant is housed in a beautiful restored mansion right in downtown Frederick. Inside, there is a bar/lounge, a main dining room (where we ate), a chef's dining room (which serves a prix fixe tasting menu), and the extra-special Table 21 in the kitchen where very lucky (and wealthy) diners eat a unique 21-course tasting menu made by the chef right before their eyes. On the way to the restroom, you can just catch a glimpse of Table 21. Katie and I each walked by a couple of times, hoping to see Bryan himself. I finally got lucky on my last trip. I only saw him from the back, but I was still excited.
Celebrity sightings aside, the food was the real star of the evening. The main dining room serves 4 courses a la carte, which change regularly depending on what's in season. (I had checked the menu when I made the reservation about 10 days ago and several things had changed by Sunday.) Katie and I decided to share the first two courses and then order two main dishes and two desserts. Between courses, the wait staff brought out little extra treats, including a refreshing shrimp ceviche amuse bouche and an amazing selection of fresh-baked breads and rolls.
Our first course was a medley of heirloom tomatoes, surrounded by micro-greens, some kind of encapsulated mozzarella, and "frozen flavors of gazpacho." All of the flavors and textures worked together beautifully. By the end, I wanted to lick the plate and we were both super-excited for the next course: pork belly. For me, this turned out to be the star of the night. I can barely remember what else was on the plate (other than white beans) because the pork belly itself was so delicious. It almost made me regret the 15+ years I spent as a vegetarian. For main courses, we shared plates of beef tenderloin and roasted chicken. I tried the chicken first. It was accompanied by two different sides: delicious Asian-flavored greens with little bits of ham, and a perfectly cooked polenta cake. The chicken was delicious, but it was out-shone by the beef tenderloin, which was served rare over some of the most delicious mashed potatoes I've ever tasted. I had no idea that I was over-cooking my beef until I tasted that tenderloin, but I will not make that mistake again! Finally, we had our two desserts: a deconstructed meyer lemon tart and "textures of chocolate" accompanied by pistachio ice cream. Everything was delicious, but the star of this course was the pistachio ice cream with a sprinking of cocoa powder. I told Katie that I wanted to bathe in it.
When we had finished our last courses (again, resisting the temptation to lick the plates), the server brought our check and we got two pleasant surprises: First, neither of us was going to have to wash dishes because the meal wasn't nearly as expensive as we had anticipated/feared. Second, we were given a little take-home loaf of lemon-poppy seed bread "compliments of the pastry chef." We were both excited about that bread (which I ate for breakfast this morning) because it allowed us to put off the moment when we would have to resume eating regular food just a little longer.
I drove home thinking that I had just easten the best meal of my life and the day could not get any better. Then, I got a text message telling me that the couple Katie and I helped move earlier in the day had gotten engaged! So, congratulations Nancy and Jessie! An amazing end to an awesome day.
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